I know I am not the only one. Have you ever had an unexpected visit, or freak’em session with your boo and thought, “Oh sh*t, my panties and bra do not match!” I was having brunch with my girlfriend the other day, and over our Crepe de Frango, I noticed the strap of her beautiful periwinkle lace brassiere. (She is French, and they are known to have their intimate apparel game on lock, so I thought.) so I complimented her on her selection. Her response, “If only my bottoms matched my top.” In a haste sometimes, we ladies will put on our best business suit, chicy vintage store finds, or low key casual attire without coordinating our intimate apparel. I was put on blast by a lover some years ago, and have since made an effort to never be caught in the situation again (though sometimes I falter.)

But there are rules and different levels of severity when committing this infraction. While sometimes it is hard to buy exact matching bottoms and tops, particularly if you are heavier at the top versus the bottom or vice versa, one can coordinate by purchasing a patterned multi color brassier to pair with a solid colored bottom; or, the opposite, a multi-colored panty and a solid color bra.

And then there are fabrics, and textures to be concerned with. You don’t want to be caught out there with a lace bra, and cotton days of the week underwear, no matter how much of a haste you’re in, this is definitely not a good look. Other factors to consider are your attire for the day. If you’re wearing a sleek fitted cocktail dress for a mid-day brunch affair perhaps a nice seamless panty is the best option. There is nothing worst (than perhaps maybe camel toe) than seeing a glaring panty line at a classy event.

However the most horrendous offense of all intimate apparel faux pas, is the dreaded “four titty monster.” You know the chic that has that extra spillage over her brassier that looks as if she has an extra set of titty’s sitting on top of her first pair. COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE! (She don’t have no friends.)Experts say that most women are not wearing their true and correct bra size, but the aforementioned offense remains inexcusable. Victoria’s Secret, as well as all the major and minor department stores offer free bra sizing. Please utilize it.

Have you had any embarrassing mishaps with your intimate apparel, or any secrets that you want to share about buying your lady garments?

- Jayne Dirt