We see it all the time and maybe you have been the one to participate in it. Yeah, you know those water cooler discussions about that girl that sits next to you in your cubicle. You gather with the other women in the office and quip,“Girl, she think she cute.” Or that head to toe gaze and the unnecessary rolling of the eyes at the girl with the perfectly supple ample apple bottom derriere in her corporate freak’em dress at the happy hour. All the shade that is thrown to Amber Rose and the accusations of her being a whore and a slut, when no one really knows who she has or has not let bless her sweet vajayjay.
Women do it all the time, and the bitter sad truth of the matter is the ones that are participating in this sick sad madness are really just jealous. Point, blank period. Jealous that the synthetic $12.99 yaki weave they have in their hair, doesn’t lay quite like the Indian tresses tightly sewn in to ol’girls hair. Or that their Payless doesn’t if feel good pumps don’t quite measure up to homegirls Miu Miu’s. They gush, “Girl who she think she is?” and her answer without even having to articulate a response is “I’m a bad chic.”
We see this endless charade of cattiness in almost every facet of our lives. When the rumors began flying about Noel Jones being engaged to the beautiful actress Lisa Raye, single church ladies everywhere clutched their pearls and whispered, “Why he want to marry her?” Surely that must be a rhetorical question, she’s aged like fine, her body is ridiculously amazing, and she is accomplished in her career. The real question is “Why he don’t want to marry you?”
It’s so disappointing, and it defies age or social class standing. Can’t we give other women a genuine damn compliment and keep it moving. We all have our own intrinsic value. Don’t knock the next woman because hers is brightly shining. Jealousy is an infectious disease that affects the perpetrator more than the target. Study your own story boo.
- Jayne Dirt
Whoa lol, this read like a personally attack to someone YOU know, and I just happened to read a page in your diary.I hope you feel better
…… I don’t necessarily relate to this, because I don’t care what people think about me. This gossip or being catty has been around since the Earth was made, it will never go away, EVER. And what does this have to do with hating the pretty girl? I know a lot of plain girls that get treated the same exact way… Reading the article and then the post, I have failed at understanding your point.
Ma’am that was one helluva rant.
wow, i thought i was the only one reading it like that. Someone got her panties in a bunch for real.
I meant title anad then the post…but yea! I felt like I was reading Angry Black Woman Blog…and I got a little nervous lol. Someone pissed her all the way off!
Those who bark the loudest…(-_~)
@ JayneDirt Clearly a lot of ugly catty women are reading this article and don’t like being called out… God don’t like ugly which is why PRETTY always wins! I got a “pretty woman’s” discount just the other day
Thanks for sharing! Love the article and you even more! Muah!
Fancy, lol.
You know this will get everyone riled up….
And what’s with tht pic? Is she the pretty one or the ugly hater? Lol. This is my first time on this site…if these are the kinds of thing we discuss here then Y’ALL LOOSING IN LIFE. This article is an unintentional joke at best. Whoever wrote this sounds like a bitter lonely lady. This is sad.and the author of this sound like a GAY MAN. Like I can just see rupaul saying this.
And to take up for Lisa Raye….c’mon son. I highly doubt those church ladies are envious of an washed up actress/video girl/mistress/homewrecker etc..I just said something truthful and mean, so does that mean I am envious???? smh. Ok I’m done.
And I am highly confident that they are as she walks past them with her big ass in a freshly tailored suit, and church hat, collecting the money that their giving to her man every Sunday!
Are u a butch lezbo? Or tranny? U can’t be a straight woman talking like this. Women don’t talk like this.
Men like whores, history shows strong evidence of this. Whats the news?
U killin me with that “corporate freakumdress” I think this site is full of ladyboys/ beyonce fans. Ur really gross for this article. U perpetuate the negativity u claim to dislike. H y p o c r I t e.
Oooo Ditto to iLuvRenee. This is so unneccessary.
Yeah. I have to agree. This isn’t a commentary, it is a rant, and a hateful one at that.
“Prettiness” begins inside. And I am pretty woman who loves to compliment other pretty women although I don’t think any of the aspects of “prettiness” listed in this article are actually “pretty.”
Corporate freak’em dress? Being jealous because someone can afford a better grade of fake hair? Or can drop more money on shoes with a brand name that someone has told her is more valuable than another? That makes someone pretty? O……..kay.
And yes, there are some women who are insecure and do try to denigrate women they perceive as being more physically attractive than they are or think they have something more than they do and that is sad. But that ain’t what this “article” is about.
Cognitive behavioral therapy is a beautiful thing that the author may want to check out.
And what I find extra fascinating is that the writer of this article seems to think that no pretty women are reading it. She seems to think that all “women” are hateful toward these so-called “pretty girls.” Interesting. I have to again question her definition of pretty but thankfully, this article is neither that deep or that well written for me to have to ponder long.
Get thee to a therapist, Pretty Girl.
And an editor.
‘what she said.
It was not deep enough to ponder, yet you wrote the longest response?
who the fcuk are you talking about? Who you describe aren’t women but are children cause honey I’m in my mid 20′s and know no grown women like this. This article was written for a catty high schooler, I mean really who gives a flying F abt a woman’s weave or shoes besides a 15 year old and hoodrats.. This was so mindless and unnecessary.
Also most of the hatred towards Amber isn’t because she a “hoe” or messed with kanye and Wiz; it’s what she represent. She represent the idea that women can be famous because of who they’re associated with not for their talent or skills.
Amber Rose is very talented…looking cute at all times is not an easy job…folks think that modeling comes easy but it does not. You my dear are the type of woman that the author is speaking of. Don’t knock her hustle.
lol
But someone is PAID to dress models and celebs. Have u seen amber or rhiana when they DIY style? I have. And they look regular. Whoever wrote this article is a first class HYPOCRITE. You are displaying the VERY carachteristics that u condem. Why u mad baby?
A pretty girl can rock a synthetic/ natural/ fade/ locks and some bakers shoes and look CUNNTT! expensive stuff doesnt make u beautiful.
What on earth is a “corporate freakum dress?”.
A dress that says “I’m not afraid of my femininity and I can still look like a woman while I also use my intelligence to get that promotion”
U women kill me….
Precisely NY!
AMEN!!! HALLELUJAH!!!
But are u a woman? Don’t u get that the term corporate freakumdress dress is an OXYMORON.? U killin me with your ladyboy opinions. Why do men think they can be better women than women. Yeah a girl can have style but going around coworkers looking slutty is not the business.
it’s the attire that low-class, socially-awkward women wear to events to try and make themselves look sophisticated, when in actuality it makes them look trashy.
Nail on the head. U must have a vagina BIOLOGICALLY. Don’t these people sound like queens to u, or is it just me?
I expect more of Coco and Creme. Y’all need to do better…
These comments are completely off. I think that there is truth in what the author shared. There are many women, people in general actually, who put others down in order to feel better about themselves. Perhaps a personal experience may have inspired this commentary, but the truth in it should not be ignored simply because the author spoke rather passionately. I think we are all capable of allowing our insecurities to impact they way we view or judge others at one time or another. Maybe I’m just not as mature as you ladies or maybe I’m just a little more willing to admit my personal flaws… either way, don’t knock the author. Just say you disagree and keep it moving with a smile
word.
I concur and as someone who is frequently on the receiving end of this kind of ugliness people need not be so weak to let envy take root and dictate their actions.
Folk do have a choice in that, all it takes is a lil discipline and little more security in who they are.
and also to have a lil more love in their hearts, not only for themselves but their fellow human beings.
“…jealous that the synthetic $12.99 yaki weave they have in their hair, doesn’t lay quite like the Indian tresses tightly sewn in to ol’girls hair. Or that their Payless doesn’t if feel good pumps don’t quite measure up to homegirls Miu Miu’s. They gush, “Girl who she think she is?” and her answer without even having to articulate a response is “I’m a bad chic.”
Classist much?
Perhaps a more constructive assessment could be made about why and who benefits/profits from common female jealousy within this society.
Just a thought.
preach
i personally think that what the ladies are trying to express in their own words is that the article doesnt add up. its like the author didnt base this on actual fact. when you read the article the author inter twines pretty woman,successful woman (be it bussiness or coperate) and successful house wives into one. it very hard to make out what point she is trying to put across.
Does being successful (bussiness/coperate/marrying rich) make you pretty?? and the title of the article as well is misleading.being a successful woman(bussiness/coperate/house wife) is a whole different ball game,successful women are too busy working hard trying to better themselves or their families (thats in the case of house wives and single mothers).maybe in small institutions with people with alot of time on their hands??? mmm the author should have taken time to research.
ok this article is a classic lol. Minna K i agree with your thought qoute, “Perhaps a more constructive assessment could be made about why and who benefits/profits from common female jealousy within this society.”
I think all the women that have a real strong issue with this article are the type of “haters” the writer is talking about.
Even if this article is a rant, who cares?? What the author said is true. I’ve experienced it from both sides of the fence. (hate-ee and hated) Women do it ALLLLL the time. We love to feel and look beautiful and enjoy when others appreciate our beauty. So of course if a woman walks into a room and is better looking, better dressed, etc than 99% of the other women, the eye rolls and neck work start. And it doesn’t matter if she’s working a Beyonce weave or Angela Davis fro. Women will hate because she has something they don’t- The full attention of everyone.
Stop hatin’.
Well said.
i just made a youtube video about this!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imMGk4DR_B4
i knew i wasnt the only one who had that nastiness of envy when someone who lokos better or dresses more put together walks in the room and it ruis your personal confidence.aha
Yeah first of all with the exception of the crazy women that want to marry a pastor for his status (Soooo the opposite of what you should look at a Pastor for) the single church ladies likely have an issue with a Pastor possibly marrying someone that doesn’t represent what the bible that these church ladies read and these Pastors are suppose to teach, represent.
Not everything is jealousy we don’t always call it like it is well but it’s not always jealousy. I will say however I had a convo with my daughter about how the pretty women were never the issue in terms of looking down on people, it is usually the women that wish the had her looks, not always the case but can be in certain situations.
this post was well said, i feel if you do have a problem with it then you just may be the catty person that she’s talking about. just a thought.
In defense of SOME of the cattiness-a lot of pretty girls have nasty attitudes and use their looks to steal men, get ahead or get what they want in general. Or, they simply have a piss-poor attitude. Which has been my experience in the past.
how can you “steal” a man? men have brains, they do not get brain washed into sleeping with another person. if you man strays, how is that the other womans problem? i dont agree with being “the other woman” as i said in my first post women need to stick together, but the anger should be directed at the MAN who is cheating on you not the woman he cheated on you with.
a lot of ugly people have nasty attitudes and piss poor attitudes, what is your point exactly?
i agree completely with this post. in this world women need to stick together and work together, not tear each other down. learning to identify your great qualities goes a long way to combat the behaviour mentioned in this post.
i dont understand people who see a woman more beautiful than they are and their immediate reaction is to tear them down – obviously it is caused by jealousy, but why not appreciate these people instead of trying to make them feel bad about themselves? its such a negative, awful way to live.
i think a few people missed the message of this post completely.
I didn’t know people were still hating on ‘pretty’ girls. o_O
I don’t really see anybody as unpretty, so maybe that’s why.
I’m rolling with u on this one. Maybe I’m biased cuz I’m not a judgmental bigot. I can’t stand a woman who says that other women are better than her for whatever reason.
Newsflash: An ugly chick will plot to sleep with your man just as quick as a fine one. Trust.
All girls hate on pretty girls. The first 5 commentors must live in sisterhood heaven. Where everyone is working toward the good of humanity. I work-out a lot. I wear lipstick and eyeliner; I have to look cute for myself for me to push it real hard. Ahh man. I done started some chit. Everytime I walk to the tredmills the guys smile while the ladies frown. Only chicks not hating are the ones working their azz off.
I’m just saying where I live it is very diverse. blacks r the minority within minorities. Waaay too many pretty women from all over the world to compete with.
Side note. Does this have anything to do with the walking out side in your pajamas trend? How you gonna hate on a woman and you haven’t put in the work to even comb your hair when you walk out the door.
People will always hate on pretty girls. Just like I will always want a pair of shoes I can’t afford. That is life.
And……why is it I can’t be black, fine and with a bubly attitute. I have a conversation. I can talk to anyone. Don’t hate cause you can only communite with those like you and from you hood. Not my fault you limit yourself.
I did not feel that this was a “rant”. It is true.. a lot of women hate just because you are doing good..looking good, feeling good. I understand this all the way. However the Amber Rose example was weird. I think woman think of Amber Rose as a whore because she was a Mount Vernon stripper who had a girlfriend that she did not get rid of when she started dating Kanye West. Most people think of strippers as whores…which can be false if they don’t give up the kitty to ever dick, tom and harry. Whatever…. Im with Ms. Dirt on this… something as stupid as hair weave and shoes can get you the cold shoulder from other females when you walk into the room. I don’t expect women who do not stand out to understand. You don’t necessarily have to be pretty to stand out but fashionably fabulous and women do hate on that ALL THE TIME. Lets be real.
This article is trying to squash the beef. I am personally tired of walking in a room and smiling and the only people smiling back are men. Women, particularly black women should stick together and support one another. Jealousy is a natural emotion that is just a signal telling us that we have competition, don’t fight it with a stink look, just compliment or ask questions…like who does your beautiful hair? or Where did you buy that sexy a$$ dress?? Or just smile and be happy that another sister can look so damn fine. Peace.. Typed with L-O-V-E
This article has good intentions but I do think that the “ugly girls hating on pretty girls” slant created a false dichotomy. It sets flawfree ‘pretty girls’ (something that’s incredible broad anyways…) as a victim of the wicked witchery of ugly haters without creating any alternatives.
Ultimately this article would have been successful had you considered breaking down ‘girl hate’ as an epidemic that hits every female ‘ugly’, ‘pretty’, ‘rich’ and ‘economically disenfranchised’ as another poster mentioned.
If anything girl hate is more prevalent among women who are on fairly similar wavelengths (in both looks and success) because insecurity is at it’s strongest when you actually have realistic competition.
Tavi a 13 year editor actually surmises this problem a little bit better than this article (http://rookiemag.com/2011/09/getting-over-girl-hate/) because it’s speaking from the perspective of the insecure versus yelling at them like this article seems to be doing.
2 sides of the coin, I agree 100%. Also, I feel the article is definitely personal, lol. We all know what she’s trying to say to be “a” truth, not “the” truth, but it’s still a tiny part of a broader issue.
Agreed!
I Luv Tavi
The only thing is that she has been 13 years old for the past 5 years.
I agree.
I just read the Tavi post she is wise beyond her years. alot of ‘girl hate’ is mob mentality and people inability to think independantly of others. But I personally have seen nothing but love and support from other women and espicially women of colour! interesting post.
I find that stunning women, get the most hate. There are alot of pretty women out there. I also find that the expense of what a “stunning” woman has on does not matter. The stunning woman can be in sweat pants or a t-shirt/jeans combo and just because men stop to look. Women, average and/or pretty will find something to not like about her.
These women usually have a certain charm about them, men are attracted to them moth-to-flame style. They tend to have no problem getting dates with tons of quality men, are never out of money or the access to funds, and really exude a confidence that is apparent with any room that they walk in.
Women that on average/or pretty, can really learn from these women about charm and swag.
Why do y’all like to make up fantasy characters to talk about? Like what are u selling? Never out of money? What the hell ? This is I don’t keep women around me. I’m mad at all of this. And by definition I’m ” the pretty one” but y’all are some birds… Y’all mentality is so effed up. Everyone is beautiful. Attitudes though, need a makeover.
I’m sorry. I read this and can TOTALLY relate. It happened to me in high school ALL the time. I got a break from it in college ONLY for it to start up again in the corporate world. To make matters worse, I am PAINFULLY shy and this creates even more problems because they think I’m “stuck up” on top of it all. It’s hurtful. I hear them talking about me in the next cube too. Not because I’m trying to listen…THEY TALK SO LOUD. I feel like I am back in high school.
If Jayne is ranting then so be it, but honestly let’s not take away from the fact that this is real. It does happen. And some women are really experiencing this on the DAILY.
I also can feel what you’re saying as well because I think all women have been there. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, and one person might be jealous of a beauty they find in a person that no one else can see but them.
On the other hand I will agree with “2 sides of the coin” I think its too easy to label someone ugly, pretty, or rich. If there is anything “ugly” about these women at all it’s the action, not necessarily the physical. Beauty is relative.
Its true, women can and DO sometimes hate the pretty girl.
I’ve been the victim of it, and admittedly, I’ve felt jealous pangs myself when someone else gets complimented.
Solution? Put effort into looking AND FEELING the best you can be…… then it won’t matter how others look becuase you feel great within yourself.
These comments are out of control. I couldn’t even read them all.
I don’t know what Bronze is talking about, because I am a woman who does not hate pretty women .
For me, as someone who is quite introverted and shy, if I don’t speak to someone, it has nothing to do with the way they look, it’s because I am more comfortable not being noticed.
As far as the title, the author was referencing a person having an ‘ugly attitude’, not being physically ugly.
All girls as in Chinese, Russian, pick a country….all girls. Meaning this is not just a black woman’s thing. Of course not every woman on the planet hates on pretty girls.
I never stated this was a Black woman’s thing.
I know you didn’t say it. I was explaining what I meant by all women.
I think people “hating” on pretty girls is the LEAST of their problems. Please. That is not a real issue.
Maybe not a real issue to you cause it DAMN sure is a real issue with me.