We’re all guilty of it. We’re going about our lives and then we see her, the woman in the $700 coat, wearing the $1500 shoes and carrying the bag that costs more than someone would pay for our life. We’re in awe of her and think how lucky or rich she must be to be able to afford such snazzy clothes. Then we see the woman next her. She’s not ugly, not unkempt, but her whole outfit from head to toe costs less than the coat on the other woman. We immediately judge her and think things like, “Oh she has no fashion sense,” “She’s cheap, I would never buy my clothes from that place,” “Maybe she doesn’t make a lot of money,” and the list goes on. The trouble is we don’t truly know the real deal about either woman and based on a fleeting moment in time and one choice in clothing, we’ve formed a whole opinion on whether or not this person is worthy. Of course first impressions are critical, but they aren’t everything. As women we need to stop judging and bashing one another based on the labels we do or don’t wear. It’s time to stop the foolishness and here are a few reasons why.
Clothes Don’t Make The Woman
Gucci, Chanel, Louis, they are all wonderful labels and what fashionista wouldn’t love to own them all, but the reality is not all of us can. Just because you see someone in expensive clothing or ‘cheap’ clothing doesn’t mean that they are what they wear. I know plenty of women decked out in the latest fashion from head to toe on a daily basis who would jump from a balcony and slit your throat like Chaquita in Belly the minute you turned your back. In contrast, I know women who can’t afford to or don’t want to wear designer clothing but would literally give you the shirt off their back if you needed it. The point is clothes don’t make the woman and what you see is not always what you get, so try to dig deeper.
We Are Not Our Clothes
Many of us define our own self worth based on what designer labels we own and how much we spend on certain luxuries, so when we see others with what we deem to be less than what we have, we automatically calculate their worthiness as less than our own. But ladies, we are not our clothes! A pair of red bottoms does not define or determine the worth of you or the woman next to you. True beauty and worth comes from within and the only way you’re going to notice that about the next woman is when you start noticing it within yourself.
I love this article…it is on point! As women, we spend a lot of time judging and comparing instead of acknowledging that every woman is different. We all have different styles, just like we have different body shapes.
I can’t tell you how many times other women have criticized me and judged me because I wasn’t decked out in the most expensive outfit. But the funny part is that their boyfriends/husbands look at me in my blue jeans and $7.99 top from TJ Maxx and they find me attractive…I still carry myself with class no matter what I wear. The same cannot be said for a person who only judges others by what they wear and how much money they make and what they look like.
Money can buy a lot of nice things, but it doesn’t make somebody a better person. I grew up poor so I appreciate the fact that I can afford nicer things now, but I don’t look down on women who feel more comfortable in other types of clothing.
My sister-in-law is very casual. What she wears is definitely NOT my style, just like my clothing choices aren’t her style. She is very tomboyish (except for her love of pink) while I prefer clothes that are sexy and feminine. I love heels and ballet flats while she wears flip-flops constantly.
I can’t afford a Chanel purse, although I do have some Chanel perfume. I would never judge somebody else because she isn’t wearing the latest style. It is catty when women judge other women that way. I can’t afford Louboutins either…so what? I bought a pair of gorgeous heels yesterday for only $20. They look just as good, if not better, than “red bottoms”.
Once again, I concur…clothes don’t make the woman and we are not our clothes.
Are chicks really still on that designer from head to toe steeze?? LOL! Wow…
@LesBoom I’m with you… I don’t know grown women petty enough to even talk about this. I mean, really?
Nice article. Although it sounds silly, there are still some women who judge their worth and the worth of others by the designer labels they wear. It’s tempting to look at these “designer women” with envy, but you don’t know her story. She could be up to her ears in credit card debt for all you know.
If I really wanted to, I could go out and spend 2 months mortgage on a pair of shoes right now, but my priorities are a bit different. It doesn’t mean I’m cheap or poor, it just means other things are more important to me. Anyway, I see plenty of women who shop at Marshall’s or Ross and look great!
Thank you! I love shopping but I can’t afford most of the stuff at Saks. There is no shame in that.
I’m a simple girl. Sweet deals can always be found at Marshall’s.
I love this article because it is sooo true! The writer wrote this article for the stupid women at Hampton University. Me & a friend just had this conversation this morning. A bunch of stupid cows standing around looking each other up & down to see who has what on. I had to laugh like this is the worse paying HBCU on earth & no one is making what they deserve but they make sure they spend their whole tiny paycheck to buy a pair of boots, a purse, remy hair or a luxury car that’s probably going to get repo’d anyway. Yes, material things do not make the woman! Education, poise & class makes the woman. Thank you once again for writing this article. Send a copy to Hampton University!
This is a great article! I am a firm believer in not judging a book by its cover I ran into many wealthy people who can afford these labels but shop at Target and you wouldn’t even tell they had major money because they aren’t decked out in these fashion lines or as one of my friends say “fashion traps”. Not going to lie there is not wrong with having labels but you should not measure yourself and your success based on having these things. Personally I rather be the girl with affordable clothes but spends her money traveling and such these material things are nice but at the end of the day what do they do for you except clothed you. My mom always told me,especially during the high school years, that clothes doesn’t speak for you nor makes you look any better
SAD! how do you know if the chick with the expensive clothes on spends her damn rent money JUST to look good?
Some people will spend money to keep up the illusion that they are wealthy because they have to look fly at all times.
Some people have their priorities backwards. They have bills to pay but they want designer clothes and all that stuff.
Ah yeah, this is so true. Taste and preferences differ so it really shouldn’t matter as long as someone looks presentable.
I’m pro “if you’ve got it, no need to flaunt it”. Obviously there isn’t anything wrong with wanting to be in designer garb from head to toe, but personally, modesty and simplicity have always seemed more elegant to me.
This is the historical imperative in action. Just, breathe and, look on the bright side.
I really loved this article.Just because one can afford to have all of these labels does not mean that they have genuine style. I find that some of the most interesting and innovative looks come from high and low end places.
I live in Miami. This is the capital of people frontin like they got it like that. We have so many young people trying to keep up with the hustlers (drug dealers, strippers, and scam artists) its ridiculous. People are literally breaking the bank to pay for their Infiniti’s, Acura’s, Benz’s, Remy hair, LV, Micheal Kors, Polo, Gucci, popping bottles in the club, making it rain in the strip clubs, etc. They spend so much of their time and money (most of which they don’t have…via credit cards, pay day loans, etc) working towards looking good for other people.
When you really look at them you’ll see they’re not paying their bills, their gas tank is on E, their fridge is empty, they can’t go anywhere (unless someone else is footing the bill), their house looks like a college dorm room, their kids are in the crappiest daycare, etc.
I am never envious (or think that a person is better) because of what they wear. Mostly because I am not willing to do a lot of the things that these people are willing to do to get what they have. And if those people really can afford their shopping habits I just give them their props and keep it moving. Why would I automatically assume that this person is better? They’re just a regular ol person with expensive taste.