So last night like many of you I was laid out enjoying a night of mindless reality television before I had to return to work and what better way to veg out than by watching VH1’s Love & Hip Hop. As you already know, Jim Jones finally proposed to his long suffering girlfriend Chrissy Lampkin at the end of the episode…..or did he? Now correct me if I’m wrong but what he did was show up in Miami unannounced, get cursed out a bit, then shove a box and ring in her face while asking her to marry him.
We’ll just ignore the fact that they were technically already engaged because she proposed first. We’ll also ignore the fact that the ring may have simply been what Chrissy refers to as a “painkiller” since what Jim really wanted was peace and what she was really doing was brow beating him into marriage. But I digress.
Anyway, through the tears, Chrissy, box in hand, took a seat, took her ring out of the box and asked Jim to put the ring on her finger. Voila! Proposed to and engaged. But hol’ up, hol’ up, somethin’ ain’t right! In my Martin voice. What happened to the down on one knee part? You mean to tell me after 7 years and all that foolishness, not only did he not get down on one knee, but he had to be told to ring her and the whole ‘proposal’ was really him shoving a box at her like “Here, take that.” That can’t be life?
Maybe it’s just me, but when I envision a marriage proposal I see a man so overcome with love that he, on bended knee, professes his love for his lady and asks her to spend the rest of her life by his side. Now mind you, I completely get that Jim Jones isn’t exactly the mushy type, but can a sista get a knee bend after 7 years?? Even if he got on his knee and said “Yo, Chris, I know I be putting you through some ish, and I know you sick of me and want us to settle down and you know I agree. You been riding with me mad long and I ain’t never gonna find a lady that’ll hold me down like you, so yo, let’s do this marriage thing. Ya heard me!,” that would still be better than him just standing there and shoving a box in her face.
But then again, does how he proposed really matter? When it comes to marriage so many of us get caught up in the fairytale of it all. We want the prince, the horses, the romantic evening we can gush about to our family and friends later on. However, even when we get that fairytale, the reality of marriage ends up being far from a happily ever after. So what Chrissy didn’t get a candlelit, flower filled, on one knee proposal. He still surprised her…and he still proposed. How he did it shouldn’t be the barometer for how much he loves her or whether or not the proposal was sincere. Some folks get the fairytale and end up divorced before the ink on the papers can dry….Kim Kardashian anyone? In the end all that really matters is that Chrissy got what she wanted, a lifetime with the man of her dreams and whether it cam on bended knee or not, it was a fairytale to her.
What did you think of Jim Jones’ proposal? Would you have said yes?
- Danielle Pointdujour
I think it was just what we expected:staged for Reality TV!!! Anyway, if they like it I love it. I sincerely hope it works out for them.
Made me wonder why this wasn’t saved as the season finale episode. I know it is scripted tv, but It felt forced. The end.
Yeah, his approach was on some “I don’t want her to leave me so let’s get this shit over with” swag, but if she doesn’t have a problem with it, who the hell are we to say it doesn’t count??? He clearly loves the girl if you watch the show so I’ll rock wit it.
I don’t even like Chrissy like that but she deserves her happiness after 7 damn years, lol
It so reminded me of when Martin proposed to Gina the wrong way. Alright Gina Will you Marry me? It seemed very forced. Even if it took her going to Miamit to realize he didn’t wanna be without her he did a better job at the rooftop dinner. He could have done something like that. Maybe next episiode we can see where he really at because she is going to wanna set a date and if he like lets take our time, he was just asking to pacify her. But clearly they aren’t married now.
Another thing everyone talks about what Chrissy deserves maybe she was the problem in the relationship and not always Jim Jones. If you google this chick there is a lot of interesting info about her (I’ll leave it at that)
LOL at your version of Jim’s Proposal… I’m still up in the air about the “fairytale” or the “lets get it done”.. See it seemed rushed but his nervousness didn’t. And I would love the fairytale but the lets get it done can work too. I have a friend that’s been with his girlfriend for about 15 years and he just proposed and didn’t get on one knee either but she was happy as ever. I guess it depends on the guy maybe. As far as Chrissy and Jim goes, 7 year relationship ~ 7 year engagement.. Their relationship is awkward.
My dad simply asked my mom “Don’t you think its time we got married?” And that was that. They’ve been married for 23 years.
Personally I would have said no but we have to remember proposals are personalize and befitting for the couple if it worked for her and got her all emotional and happy and think its a cute story then the proposal did the trick.
I always get do defensive of Chrissy’s relationship with Jim Jones because it do mirrors my own and my personality in hers! Granted, shes a good 20 years older than I (my mom’s age) so perhaps there are a couple issues with wisdom but I. Love. Her.
Their relationship is real, and while I’d love the fairy tale proposal, ive given that idea up for somethig way more tangible: a man who loves me and gives me everything he can and supports my dreams…is willing to be my backseat while I’m in medical school and stands for me when I can’t stand for myself.
Part of me takes offense when women with way less than ideal relationships criticize her for proposing: there’s so much that we dont see- Chrissy is a real person but her persona is largely created.
For my marriage proposal I got a “neither of us are going anywhere. You might as well take my name” and you know, I was ok with that. Life isn’t a fairy tale and most times, when it is, it’s too good to be true
Ugrh! Grammar and writing errors…typing on my cell!
Not doesn’t matter because that’s who they are. The clips leading up to the proposal that VH1 has on their site is more telling of his love for her than what they chose to use on the show.
That proposal probably wouldn’t have worked for me but I think for example an ex coworker ‘s boyfriend would send her flowers like every day and that soooo fits her….me on the other hand I’d tell dude to stop wasting his money on something that’s gon die!! I like flowers mind you but that just wouldn’t do it for me vs the every now and then totally unexpected delivery of flowers.
But point being Chrissy knows who she’s with and what work for some of us won’t for others. Jim messed up a perfect cry moment for me tho with that one I ain’t gon lie LOL.
I personally feel like he is pressured and a marriage takes commitment which I don’t think he is ready for.I hope its real They have to make it happen.
They hood as all hell!
My Grandfather simply asked if my Grandma was in his corner with no ring lol so I think it doesn’t matter. I personally love Chrissy, and hope her and Jim last. Lets just hope he’s not high for the wedding, but I digress. Congratulations to them!
While people try to defend his proposal, we can all see that it was forced. She couldn’t have felt special in that moment because I couldn’t even see the happiness in either of their eyes. Her tears were from desperation.. she has been pleading with him since last season, and we all sit and wait for him to do it.. *well its over now* the ring is on her finger. Does that mean we will be hearing wedding bells sometime soon? …(idk. just my opinion)
Jim’s a man that loves his lady. He says it every chance he gets on national television. I think his love for her is genuine but he just may not be ready for that step. (not saying he shouldn’t be after 7 years) But she asked him and he still never really said yes..The decision was not mutual. Period. I think I would respect it more if it was done privately and not on the show. If he was going to propose like that, maybe it should have been done off camera. being reality stars brought an inauthentic vibe to the whole thing.. ok im done
I agree with Ashlee. Chrissy comes across as desperate,not saying that some men don’t need a nudge in jumping the broom. I believe when a man is raised “right” to cherish a woman, he usually doesn’t need a nudge. We all must keep in mind that this is television!!
That’s just him, but if she likes it I love it. Lol. Wouldn’t nan dude I’m with ever think of proposing to me like that (I’m married by the way), but then again I would not have moved in with no dude, proposed to HIM, and been with him for 7 years too!! pleezE. Guys treat you how you allow them to. So it’s ultimately her fault that he proposed like that, she didn’t train him right.
Also marriage is as much of a fairytale as YOU make it, too many women try to change men and that’s why they end up a divorce statistic. If we would take off the rose-colored glasses and realize who we’re about to marry, then that would solve a majority of the problem. Nothing in life is perfect, so why would you expect marriage to be?? It is work and it’s not about who has this or that, but at the end of the day those who stay married for life get the real honor and credit.
Of course it matters!! It matters to them. And those are the only 2 people that it needs to matter to. She might have found that romantic. He surprised her in MIami right when she was having an emotional moment, pretended to be mad to throw her off, and popped the question that Chrissy thought she was never going to hear from him. It made me shed a tear. Only thing we need to worry about is how our men propose to us. Chrissy and Jim seem to be doing very well, even when they have their little spats.
Lets’s be clear…Jim and Chrissy were not engaged because she proposed. His response was “I got you” not I want to marry you, or even a yes. So…I cannot be anything but mortified when I review all the references to earning and deserving a ring. No one “owes” another person a marriage…this isn’t what marriage is about. I would encourage any woman to recognize that if a man can ask for your time, your love, or your a** then he can also ask for your hand. This proposal will encourage many women to take control and propose to their man, but if he wanted to marry you…please note that he would’ve asked…FIRST!
(Steps off soapbox.)
Please get yourselves some business…as long as it was good enough for Chrissy, it was good enough…and that down on bended knee is so played out…I pray my husband to be comes up with something a little more creative than that. I loved it…I thought it was cute and very Jim and Chrissy…and the ring is beautiful…leave ‘em alone.