A couple of days ago, I came across an article in the blogosphere written by a black male who went on and on about why he hated weaves. One of his arguments could have been warranted – and when I say some I mean one, most of his points were ridiculous and ill-researched.

Yes we are all entitled to our own opinion but I am tired of people, black men in particular, attacking black women who wear weaves as if we are the only race wearing them. Not to mention, why is it your concern what another woman chooses to do with her hair?

As an avid weave-wearer and devoted natural-haired sista, I could care less if you, random black man, like what’s going on with my hair. It’s my hair whether it’s bought from a store or growing out of my scalp. Most can agree, the whole natural hair versus weaved hair discussion is so overdone. However, I felt compelled to debunk or refute some of the many reasons men absolutely hate weaves on our heads.

1. Weaves are fake and look fake.

Ok weave haters, you might be correct with this first thought. Weaves are indeed fake in the sense that they did not naturally grow from the wearer’s head. True story, I can’t argue with you on that. With that being said, I assume you also hate fake nails, fake boobs and Nicky Minaj’s butt.

As for the second part of this statement, “weaves look fake”, is only true on a case-by-case basis. Yes, I have seen some atrocious hot mess weaves. And yes, some of the best weaves may see a bad day. However, I can assure you that there are fabulous, you-can’t-tell-it’s-a-weave hairstyles out there. Gabrielle Union, Lauren London and Kim Kardashian (a non-black weave-wearer) just to name a few are proof that some weaves exist that do not look fake. It’s not only celebrities who can achieve believable weaves either. I have seen some great weaves on everyday women in my day. Fellas, I’m sure when approached by a woman rocking a good weave, you wouldn’t even be able to tell the difference.

2. I can’t run my fingers through your hair.

When I have my weave in, I don’t like when anyone plays in it or touches it but that goes the same for when my hair is natural or pressed. When my hair is done, I don’t want you putting your hands all in it messing it up. But hey, that’s just me. I can’t speak for all the women in the world.

3. It’s not sanitary.

Most store-bought hair is cleaned and chemically treated prior to being packaged. As for Virgin Indian hair, most retailers shampoo and condition the hair before selling. Not to mention, many weave-wearers will wash their hair to keep it fresh and clean. Do you honestly think women who wear weaves neglect to wash their hair? Again, I can’t speak for all women who wear weaves but maintaining healthy and clean hair is always a priority, whether weaved up or not.

4. A weave-wearer has a false sense of beauty and ultimately hates herself.

Again, this is another statement that can only be applied on a case-by-case basis. Yes, I agree there are some women who feel that they only look beautiful when they have their straight Yaki hair in. These women have not come to love their naturally kinky hair and prefer a more European aesthetic. However, this is not the case for all black women who wear weave. For instance, sometimes I wear a weave because I want to drastically change up my hair, whether it be experimenting with texture, color, or length. If I fried and died my natural hair, like I did some of my weaves, it would be safe to say that I would have no hair left. Weaves can be great protective hairstyles, if your real hair is maintained and treated properly. Not all of weave wearers hate ourselves.

5. She’s high maintenance.

This stereotype is annoying and silly. According to some ignorant people, natural hair sistas are down-to-earth, not afraid to get their hands dirty and care more about feminism and black rights. On the other hand, weaved up ladies or those with relaxers care more about labels, looking fly and being promiscuous. I don’t even feel the need to address these lies, so I’m just going to move down to the final reason men hate weaves.

6. It’s unethical.

For those who purchase Indian hair, there are some ethical issues that come into play. If you saw Chris Rock’s Good Hair, you know that many of these women are tricked into believing that they are sacrificing their hair for religious purposes. Unfortunately, in actuality, their hair is being sold without them knowing about it or receiving any compensation. For many of us, the ethics involved in hair purchase don’t even cross our minds; however it should be something we consider and educate ourselves in. There are many hair companies including Indian hair retailers that pride themselves in providing ethically sourced hair. Not all weave hair is unethical.

So there you have it! Note: this is just my opinion on some of black men’s many reasons why they hate weave. You can agree or disagree. But one thing is for sure, we should care more about what is on our own head than judging and categorizing others for what they choose to do to theirs.

What do you think about weave critics?

-Chelsea Wilkins



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  • Mo

    I agree that weaves are very fake looking. It is rare to see one that is flawless. It is also true that a man is not able to run his fingers through it without being caught up. I love it when my man wants to touch my hair and I am sure most men would like to feel their woman’s hair in the heat of the moment or at some other casual time. The worst point though is what it does to your hairline, i.e. Naomi Campbell, that is really not a good look!!!! A hairline like that may never grow back. Another point would be the money, why make the Asians rich buying hair from them? Put that money back into your community, why make them rich??!?!?!?! Finally, learn to take good care of your own hair and you won’t need weaves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • robert

    I am a black man (from canada) and I think the author first point is valid, brothers who diss weave wearing chick are silly. youll diss your own people for being fake but praise coco’s (ice t wife) ass or kim kardashian when their fake as hell too. look a real man knows women wear makeup and hair and whatnot if you like the way you look and your man does too(with your fake hair) more power too you if they dont like you just dont look!

  • http://www.imsatindoll.com Satin

    weaves are great protective styles as long as the hair under the weave is being taken care. many women have grown their real hair because they dont manipulate it alot since they wear weaves. however I personally dont wear them unless its a formal occassion. because occassions that is fun to dress up and be glamourous and fake is the perfect time (weaves, fake eyelashes, more makeup than usual day wear makeup). other than that I dont wear them. alot of the weaves do look fake on black women even if the weave looks nice. for example, beyonce and jhud wear weaves that are tamed and curled and looks good with their features but you can tell its weave. you can tell its not their hair. doesnt have to look a mess to be fake. I think its a little much to say they hate themselves. but many black women do have issues of not liking their hair (and that includes women with or without weaves).

  • http://generation-x.net Sargewp

    Watch me doooooooo

    “Yes we are all entitled to our own opinion but I am tired of people, black men in particular, attacking black women who wear weaves as if we are the only race wearing them. Not to mention, why is it your concern what another woman chooses to do with her hair?

    As an avid weave-wearer and devoted natural-haired sista, I could care less if you, random black man, like what’s going on with my hair. It’s my hair whether it’s bought from a store or growing out of my scalp. Most can agree, the whole natural hair versus weaved hair discussion is so overdone. However, I felt compelled to debunk or refute some of the many reasons men absolutely hate weaves on our heads.”

    SWP – Response – I have no issue with black women and their weaves as long as they keep black men’s names out of their mouths.

    Black women can’t collectively say they wear weaves because of black men, or point to the idea that black men prefer other races of women solely because of their hair – then turn around the next minute and say – “WELL I DON’T GIVE A DAMN WHAT YA’LL NINJAS THINK!”

    Either you are doing it for you, or you are doing it for men. Pick one.

    2) Obviously if black men liked it – we wouldn’t be having this discussion would we.
    3) Black women cannot complain about the perceived superiority of other races of women and their hair – when black women are the biggest promoters of other races of women’s hair instead of their own.

    4) White women wear weaves, but far less than black women, additionally, how many white women do you see wearing fake Afros? The issue with the weaves are the fact that black women do not wear their own texture of hair. They wear imitation white women’s hair. When white women start trying to have the hair texture of black women, you give me a call.

    ” If I fried and died my natural hair, like I did some of my weaves, it would be safe to say that I would have no hair left. Weaves can be great protective hairstyles, if your real hair is maintained and treated properly. Not all of weave wearers hate ourselves.”

    SWP – response – why are you frying and dying ur hair in the first place?

    Secondly, Weaves being a great protective hairstyle – that doesn’t even sound right – A weave doesn’t protect natural hair a weave is designed to protect processed hair ( if that’s how you want to look at a weave) which only brings me back to the above statement. I personally think weaves are shameful and only further to make black women secondary to white women or other races of women who are similar to white women.

    Make no mistake – black women wearing weaves messes up the beauty standards for black women – black women’s beauty is currently based off of how non-black they can look or how close to a white woman she is, for the most part.

    Black women will never win the straight hair contest against a white woman the reasons are obvious.

    If you look at the black women that we put up on a pedestal – as African Americans even the dark skin ones are not so black. White women dipped in chocolate.

    Closing statement – there are black women who may not be self hating and wear weaves but for those who do not let their natural hair see the light of day – THEY HATE THE FACT THAT THEY HAVE AFRICAN TEXTURED HAIR AND ARE ASHAMED OF IT. That is obvious.

    Psychologically, that is not appealing to me as a black man.

  • http://vivid-liveincolor.blogspot.com/ sun.kissed

    Amen! All of the men I’ve ever dated hated it when I wore a weave mainly because they ‘couldn’t play in my hair.’ And the kicker–you already have long hair why do you want a weave? Answer: Because it’s easy to maintain and allows me to have versatility and my hair to grow all in one. Plus, I don’t have to go to the salon every two weeks. What’s not to love?

  • Ron

    Okay, I have to ask…….

    I love me some Black Women, weave or no weave. Who the h*ll came up with all these excuses in the 1st place? You wanna wear a weave, who am I to tell you no?
    Speaking for me (and I guess me alone), as long as it looks good on you, and you like it, let’s get on to the business of the relationship.

  • Chrissy

    I have longer hair because I have a passion for making my own herbal hair elixirs and trimming ends. Im all natural and never had a relaxer or texturizer in my life. Both of my parents are Black.
    Guess what, though? I am getting a shoulder-length jet black weave next month with a china bang because I think that look would be hot on me:-)
    This also means I can join my mom for bikram yoga without worrying about my hair.
    Weaves can be freeing and easy. After this weave, ill likely get a kinky weave with subtle honey highlights to brighten my face.
    All of these choices are mine and work for me. Any man who cares THAT much about my hairstylw needs “some mo'” Jesus.
    :-)

  • http://generation-x.net Sargewp

    1) Versatility – NO black women just don’t know how to take care of their natural hair because they were not taught by their mothers who permed.

    2) Hair Grow? – If that was the case then you wouldn’t need the weave in the first place

    3) Easy to maintain – Lets just call it what it is – LAZINESS.

  • http://generation-x.net Sargewp

    I’M SHOCKED AT SOME OF THE COMMENTS

    Yea weaves ain’t an issue until little black boys start wanted black women to have long hair and one day realize they don’t have it – and then here comes BECKY with the real ish.

    I mean this is a no brainer. I can’t stand when BW promote the hair texture of another race of women then turn around and have to nerve to complain about black men choosing other races of women for their hair – it would be one thing if u were wearing afro extensions.

  • http://urbanfashionistastyle.tumblr.com/ Rosie

    ^ I love this!

  • Nichole

    You fail to realize that black women’s hair come in various, textures colors and lengths. We can straighten our hair (without chemically altering it) and we can wear a curly fro. There are white women who perm their hair to get it curlier. I just don’t get your point. Furthermore black women can have long hair, I dont know where you were raised where black women with long hair is an impossibility. BLACK GIRLS CAN GROW LONG HAIR TOO! Our hair is so versatile, you would be surprised

  • Jaki Dee

    If a black man is choosing another race for something as superficial as their hair, they can have him.

  • chanela

    laziness? you’re a man. you will never understand what its like to have hair that takes 2-3 fcking hours just to get it looking decent. you will never understand what its like to wear your hair natural and be seen as ugly cause your hair is ”nappy” but when you wear weave or straighten your hair then you get ridiculed too. stfu.

    you dont see us women making articles non stop about men who scratch their balls in public. we dont understand it cause we arent men. its simple.

  • chanela

    i am one of the women who wears clip in extensions because it makes me feel more beautiful. this is only because without it i look like a little ass kid and with extensions i look older and therefore feel more beautiful cause looking like a 14 year old is not sexy.lol

    i also wear them cause i feel that certain outfits look nicer with longer hair so i just clip it in as an accessory.

  • Wondering why this is an issue

    Amen, Chrissy! We are a versatile set, black women. We are FREE to rock ANY style we choose, at any time! As a happily nappy sister, I have no issue with seeing my sisters napped up or weave-rockin’, because either way, we make it look soo GOOD! I for one am mystified by the black man’s obsession with our hair style choices, and what they believe are our “motives” for choosing what we do. Even more mystifying is their desire to downgrade us as a result of said choices, while ignoring the fact that we are not theonly ones who choose to enhance or diversify our look through a variety of methods. For instance, makeup is FAKE, and something that black women typically don’t wear (or need to, IMO). It’s also a multi-BILLION dollar a year industry, yet because it isn’t something typically engaged in by black women, nobody villifies that practice, despite the cruel practices utilized to produce much of it (animal testing, etc), and how DANGEROUS and unethical it is to purchse and use many of the products out there to FAKE WHAT IT IS THEY DO NOT POSSESS (melanin, full lips, etc)NATURALLY..Hmmm I appreciate the brothers who have spoken supportively on this issue, because it exposes the self-loathing of others who have commented in teh negative and in a derogatory sense. To THOSE, I say, STAND DOWN..No one is interested in your WEAK, BASELESS, ARROGANT rantings about the beautiful, diverse black woman. My hair is natural (and LONG, mind you), and I do find that when I want to place my hair into a protective style (braids, bun, etc), a nice weave is an option, especially when trying out a new hair color. I enjoy being able to wear long, blond and flowy hair, or short, red and FIERCE. On occasion, I’ll even sport an afro wig (really good ones are hard to find) or afro puff (as I am right now). I enjoy the style options that weaving affords without the stress my hair would have to undergo to achieve that same result..Minimum risk, maximum success = a SMART WOMAN!!!

  • OhPlease

    Well as a strong critic of weaving I’ll state my objections to weaving as follows:

    Weaving or glueing synthetic fibres (or other people’s dead hair) onto your scalp to create the illusion of long straight hair is pretty sad on so many levels.
    First of all, all it does is draw attention to the incongruity of a black woman with long straight hair. In other words, rather than white wash one’s Africaness, you accentuate all the African aesthetics you want to hide.

    I look at a black woman with a weave and I feel real sadness because I know that I’m seeing is not a true representation of the person before me. She does not have long straight hair and whatever disposition she’s trying to effect is just a facade made possible by the weave. In other words – her hair’s fake and the vibe she frontin fake too.

    Secondly – say what you like, but I’ve never been around a weave that I liked the smell of. Can’t wash it too often, else it goes outta shape, which means that in between weekly (at the maximum) and monthly (at the mimimum) washes, the damn thing STINKS to high heaven. Come on girl, we’re black men, we know the maintenance regime.

    My last point will be addrees the the main rationalisations we’re offered as justifcation for weaving.

    1. weaving is not self hate because other women do it too
    2. it’s just another hair styling option.
    3. it’s convenient

    If non-black women (who usually have straight if not long hair) are weaving too, well – they may be self hating too. If not, they are simply enhancing a look that is NATURAL to them by adding length.

    If it’s all about “options”, how come everybody’s choosing the same style; namely, long straight hair that flows over the shoulders, which also happens to be the current style among non-black women, specifically white women?

    What’s so “convenient” about having to take a whole day out to sit in a salon having your hair tugged at, burned and glued for hours, at the cost of $200 upwards, only to walk away with a synthetic rag on your head which you can’t get wet, WASH, or sleep in (without another tying another rag on your head), and must keep up (ie, re-weave undergrowth) by REPEAT visits to the salon at even more expense?
    How come “convenience” only comes in the form of emulating European styles? Are we not creative enough to develop a “convenience” solution that is actually convenient?

    LOL

    Lastly – As a simple and humble black man who honours the people I come from, I have every right to object to the repudiation of our racial and aesthetic inheritance that weaving EURO styles into your scalp represents – to ME.

    Weaving undermines not just the weavers humanity as an African ascended human being, it also undermines MY humanity as an African ascended human being, because what it says is that being your natural black self aint good enough.

    That is why I will never accept weaving as anything other than a pathological adaptation to a pathological mainstream, dictated by the cultural disorientation that so many black women are stricken with.

  • Blair

    Weaves, some wear them for convience, to fit into social standards of beauty, for versatility, as a preference and from what I observed they been wearing them for so long they cannot live without them. Any woman that can afford to take care of herself does not have to answer to anybody regarding what she does with her hair.

    But…….but….since people are not judged as individuals, but as a whole racial group, what you do and how you present yourself becomes everyones business. Why? Because when other racial group see one black woman speak, present or socialize one way, they assume we all are the same. (I don’t want to digress into why we should care about what other groups think of us b/c that is not what the post is about.)

    Anyways, my problem

    1. Some women wear it so often they cannot do without it.
    2. Prevents women of color from excersing because they don’t want to mess up their hair
    3. Very expensive to maintain
    4. When children are wearing them

    Arguement

    1. I believe we should not be attached to something that we cannot live without. Espcially, something as trivial as hair.

    2. I am a big advocate for healthy living. Specifically, eating healthy, excersing daily and having a healthy mental state. Since I am a black woman I do care about the well being of my community and I find it heart-breaking that we women of color are grossly over weight and unhealthy. I know that America has an obesity problem, but I care more about my community. So, I find it inexcusable for black women not make enough effort to get healthy and work out because a. no time b. no gym membership c. doesnt want to mess up their hair. Its kind of funny, because black woman will broke, hungry and wake up at dawn to get their hair done. You know what that says about us black woman, OUR HAIR IS ABOVE OUR HEALTH! How ridiculous.

    3. If you can calculate how much you spend to a. buy that good hair b. have it sewn in c. maintain if for a year, the overall cost can come up to more than $5,000. So from a health perpsective, you can afford to go to the gym, get a personal trainer and maybe throw in a nutritionist.

    4. When raising a child you teach them societal norms and pass down what you have learned to teach them to adapt to society. Once upon a time, black mothers taught their daughters how do hair and once they grow up the will do the same when they have their own. Now today, since people are too busy and want to fit into a culture that detests them, we have weaves and perms to make life “so much easier”. Now, a lot of black women cannot even do their own hair or has never even seen what their natural hair looks like. Sad. And it will continue as black mothers perm and weave up their childrens hair.

    I don’t hate weaves. I just don’t like excuses, making poor investments, trying to fit in to a culture that enslaved my people and most of all that we as a community are very very unhealthy.

  • Leah

    It’s really not a big deal and if it’s a big deal to the man you’re dating…find another. My hair is naturally long an thick – easily 18inches. Why do I wear weaves? Because I run, swim, bike, etc and the maintenance of my “real” hair is too much! Also…because it’s just flat out fun! Weaves allow me to play with textures that don’t grow from my own head. I don’t have naturally kinky-curly hair so it’s fun to get kinky-curly weaves sometimes. If also fun to get short bobs and extra long flowy waves.
    As far as the damage to your natural hair, women need to know what works best for them. I never allow my edges to be braided nor do I use glue or any other craziness. I also wash and condition my weaved hair twice a week. It’s a little excessive but weaves (good ones at least) get split ends too and I can’t leave all that chlorine and sweat in my hair!
    People who assume that women with weaves are superficial, high maintenance, or have a false sense of beauty are probably judgmental in every area of their life so pay them no mind. All women – black, white, and other – want fly hair. FYI…black women didn’t invent the weave but we perfected it ;)

  • OhPlease

    Addressing the attempt by some to dismiss criticism of weaving with an – “it aint theat serious”, rebuff.

    I say

    yeh – sure it aint, that’s why weavers and their defenders go to such great lengths, eg, writing lengthy articles – to refute the common points of anti-weave criticism. (unsuccessfully for me, so you’d better CARE what THIS black man thinks)

    So, we’re still waiting for someone to explain why the “variety” of hairstyling options that weaving supposedly offers, only seems to result in ONE hairstyle, which just so happens to be the one most common among white women.

    We’re also still waiting for someone to explain why weaving is more convenient or versatile than the platting or braiding method which are MORE eithical in that they do not involve the exploitation of impoverished women in third world countries. So much for Sistahood and working class solidarity huh?

    Can’t complain about slavery, racism or women’s oppression/exploitation if YOU turn a blind eye to it when other women experience it. So maybe someone should a turn a blind eye and a deaf ear on YOUR claims of gender discrimination. We don’t live in a geo-political vacuum, all our actions have consequences for others.

    smh

    Whatever “versatility” weaving is claimed to afford, is not being taken advantage of by black women, coz we see the same weave on everybodies scalp..

    We haven’t had anyone refute the maintenance regime, which involves not getting your hair wet, and wearing a rag on your head overnight. Leading to poor hygiene because the hair is washed too infrequently, and foul smelling weave odours because sweat vapours are trapped in the weave (overnight) by the rag, which allow bacteria to fester.
    Erm – a not good look or smell. .

    LOL!

    These are facts that NO ONE has refuted, what we’ve had amounts to nothing more than “Imma do whatever makes me feel good”.
    Furthermore, I object to the whole “beauty enhancement” industry, which promotes vanity, excess, ecological destruction, animal testing and a “beauty” hierarchy in which women are judged and ranked by purely by what they look like.
    The “beauty industry works in tandem along with the capitalist male power hierarchy in which men are ranked according to power, thus the more powerful you are, the more “beautiful” the woman you can buy.

    The beauty business like everything else in this rotten society fosters the pathologies that make people act out of themselves.

    I say trash the whole lot.

  • TW

    It is not what’s on the outside that makes a person fake or insecure! Speaking as a natural haired woman, I have met “naturals” who are as fake and as self hating as any weave/relaxer wearer. When are we going to get over this nonsense of “good hair/bad hair”, “weave/relaxed vs natural” and realize that…….ITS JUST HAIR!!!! Let’s focus on solving the problems of the world like poverty, lack of jobs, absentee parents, wild children and our seemingly Godless society. Now is the time to love each other not criticize.
    Blessings.

  • http://48forpanache.blogspot.com 48

    “Secondly, Weaves being a great protective hairstyle – that doesn’t even sound right – A weave doesn’t protect natural hair a weave is designed to protect processed hair ( if that’s how you want to look at a weave) which only brings me back to the above statement. I personally think weaves are shameful and only further to make black women secondary to white women or other races of women who are similar to white women”

    What do you mean it doesn’t sound right? It’s common sense. Depending on texture, the more we wear our hair down, the harder it is to grow it out. My hair is middle back length and it’s thanks to less manipulation that sew-in weaves have afforded me. The days I wear my hair down, I can literally feel the breakage that occurs as strands get caught against fabric or under purse straps. You’re free to think it’s shameful but imo, it’s one of many pragmatic ways to protect hair against breakage/damage.
    _____________________________________________________________________
    “Make no mistake – black women wearing weaves messes up the beauty standards for black women – black women’s beauty is currently based off of how non-black they can look or how close to a white woman she is, for the most part”

    Do you mean these are your standards? You should perhaps do some soul-searching in order to be sure that you’re not projecting some of your inferiority complex onto black women simply because of a choice as inane as ‘what to do with my hair today/this week’
    _____________________________________________________________________
    “Black women will never win the straight hair contest against a white woman the reasons are obvious”

    NOT a contest. There’s no competition. Like women from every other race, we just reserve the right to do whatever hairstyle suits our sensibilities:)

  • http://48forpanache.blogspot.com 48

    hear, hear….all these banter over inconsequential things like what I choose to do with with my hair. Next thing these types of guys will be worried about what kind of shoes we wear or what color of lipstick we’re allowed to wear.

  • http://48forpanache.blogspot.com 48

    “First of all, all it does is draw attention to the incongruity of a black woman with long straight hair”

    All due respect, but this is hogwash. What’s so incongruous about long, straight hair on a black woman? The black women you know have a hard time growing their natural hair long? Well tell them about protective hairstyles *sarcasm*

    “only to walk away with a synthetic rag on your head which you can’t get wet, WASH, or sleep in (without another tying another rag on your head)”

    This cracked me up! You’re hilarious…now I see the standards that people judge women who wear extensions by. So wrong.

  • OhPlease

    TW said:
    “It is not what’s on the outside that makes a person fake or insecure”

    No but what you see on the outside is a reflection of what’s going on, on the inside. If the outside presentation, presents a false image to the world, then it’s likely that the person inside is trying to hide their TRUE self from the world. The definition of fake is ARTIFICIALITY and it doesn’t get more artifical than a weave made of synthetic fibre that’s been glued sown, and burned into your NATURAL hair, which itself has probably had to be fried straight to allow the weave to catch

    LOL!

    “I have met “naturals” who are as fake and as self hating as any weave/relaxer wearer.”
    This is what’s called the nirvana fallacy – you’re comparing weavers with perfect beings which don’t not exist – ie, naturals who never display fakeness and naturals who are all free of self. hate..
    Nobody said women who wear their hair in its natural state never exibit the personality flaw of fakeness and none of them are self hating.
    However, weavers are always fake in that they’re wearing false hair, and are almost always being fake in the disposition they try to effect, because that dispositon, eg a confident or assertive demeanour, is just a facade made possible by the weave. Without the weave they wouldn’t be so cocky.
    :-)
    Lastly if there are more important problems to solve stop weaving and obssessing over your appearance and use to the address them.

  • http://blackgirlcurly.com DM

    I’m in near agreement. I’d believe the versatility argument if I didn’t see 90% of the women wearing long, straight hair.

  • OhPlease

    @48

    It’s irrelevent to me that you “know” black women whom you claim have naturally long hair.

    So what?

    I’m sure you also know white women with who have short curly black hair.

    and?

    I don’t see a mass fashion movement among white women to emulate the styles and hair texture of black women, and then rationalise the practice by pointing to the handful of white women who have short curly black hair, as if that insignificant number of white women are a representation of the majority.

    LOL!

    I understand that as a subordinate minority culture amidst a dominant and domineering majority culture, many of us will succumb to a desire to escape our reality. Oftentimes that desire will manifest in dysfunctional behaviours, like trying to adopt the ways or peculiarities of the dominant culture in the hope of gaining acceptance among them.

    But once you understand this, you must do everything you can to resist any pressure you might feel to suppress who you are.

    You must actively and consciously strive to maintain and assert your own ethnic identity.

    It’s very liberating.

    Thanks to me you now understand why long straight hair is so important to you, and you now know why it’s MORE important to be yaself.

    So be ya self woman.

  • J Kristie

    The problem I have with weaves is not that women decide to get one, not if the texture is right or it looks somewhat natural. I’m not concerned with how some perceive black women as trying to compete with another race, or not being happy with what God blessed them with. All of that is personal opinions. What annoys the hell outta me about this weave business is just that, the business aspect of it. Black women spend millions of dollars on weave and yet who sells it? Not us. That’s the real problem.

  • TW

    I don’t wear weave. As stated in my comment, I am NATURAL!!! I just choose not to judge people by what is on the outside. Oh and P.S…..buy a dictionary. You need it.

  • TW

    In addition, you completely misunderstood my point. However, to each his own. Blessings.

  • Deelilly

    Wow some of you guys are just ODing on this issue. I’m 2 years natural and embracing my hair but guess what…last week I decided to buy a wig that is long black and oops, straight *le gasp!* does this mean I’m suddenly hate my self? No, I’m just tired of having my hair out and I needed togive it a break plus I wanted to try something new. It hurts that people aRe so quick to judge from what they see on the outside. Black women get so much flack sometimes. Sheesh!

  • http://48forpanache.blogspot.com 48

    This isn’t about relevance or claiming(and yes I am one of the multitude of black women who do have long hair) or rationalization, you made a flawed statement and I asked you a simple question: what is so incongruous about long, straight hair on a black woman? You gave me no rational answer.

    Lots of non-black women perm their hair in order to get curly textures…would you say that “draws attention to the incongruity of a white woman with curly hair?” – I’m amazed that you’re unable to see what’s wrong with the comment you made.

    YOU may keep struggling against the so-called “domineering” culture….YOU may continue to “do everything you can to resist any pressure you might feel to suppress who you are”…YOU may continue to “actively and consciously strive to maintain and assert your own ethnic identity”…YOU may continue to delude yourself into thinking of ‘short, kinky hair’ as the basis for blackness. As for me, I have no issues with any of the above nor am I struggling with any kind of identity crisis. I love being black, proud of it, but you know what I love more? because I am so secure in my identity, I don’t have to limit my choices or base my preferences on other people’s opinions or some perceived threat of domination by a “domineering majority culture” So you see, I am me…and I give you permission(note sarcasm) to continue to enjoy your oh-so-liberated existence without any criticism from me:)

  • http://48forpanache.blogspot.com 48

    “does this mean I’m suddenly hate my self?”

    lol you know? I’m like it’s not that serious. Thing is some people have issues of their own that they’re dealing with and there’s nothing wrong with that, but to choose to see the rest of the world through those frames? it’s a pity really.

  • http://napfrocurlzgirl.blogspot.com napfrocurlzgirl

    I’ve never understood the weave phenomenon, especially when 99 percent of the time, they look fake. They’re unnaturally thick, long and shiny…they’re akin to Barbie Doll hair. Yes BW can “rock” a variety of styles, so why not learn how to take care of your own hair and grow it long if that’s what you want. If anything, it’s a lot cheaper and easier to take care of natural hair than it is to maintain weaves. Weaves were never meant as a protective style primarily because the scalp needs air to facilitate maximum growth. And if weaves are considered protective, why do so many women suffer from traction alopecia because of their weave wearing? My only hope is that we’ll one day grow up and stop wanting what someone else has and just be happy with what God gave us.

  • OhPlease

    @TW

    I need a dictionary?

    LOL

    Yeh true, sometimes

    But how would YOU did you know the correct spelling of the two words I mispelt, in my reply to you?

    LMAO!

    Still waiting for someone who can “splain (oops there I go speling tings rong agayne) why verstility only ends up in one style.

    and we’re still waiting for to someone to show us how weaving is a hygenic and ethical practice.

    2 days gone and still no answer on any of these IMPORTANT questions.

    LMAO!

  • OhPlease

    Multitudes of black woman with long straight hair?
    Right that’s it – lol

    I think you have a few screws loose woman.

  • OhPlease

    “Multitudes of black women with long straight hair”?
    Right that’s it –
    I think you have a few loose screws woman.
    LOL! & smh

  • waxitalloff

    I’ve rocked just about every hair style imaginable.Long, short, curly, braids with weave and without weave. Why because I’m a proud BLACK woman and to me that means I can Rock any hairstyle I want! What other race offers this much freedom with their hair? Its not about self-hate, its about art, self expression and swag! Stop being so judgemental towards your black sistas! I go to the salon every two weeks , take care of my hair, love myself and wear weaves when i feel like it. I come from a family of mostly women and we do hair!

  • khalilswifee

    I think men like you tell them too. I used to wear all those and there is always someone with a strong opinion. I’ve had every hairstyle inthe book and currently I have very little hair (baldie). Some like it, and I’m sure some dont…but it is more about how you carry yourself.

    I’m married, but when I was dating and a brother didn’t like a weave and I wanted to get one, I’d just tell them that I’d give them a call when I take it out!

  • Deelilly

    Exactly! It’s not fair to put us all under that umbrella…it’s like saying every one with tattoos are rebels and don’t obey the law because we weren’t born with ink on our skin…lol that’s how I see it.

  • TW

    “Mispelt” and “verstility”! Wow, you have bigger problems to worry about than the “weave debate”. I suggest you get “Hooked On Phonics”….quickly.

  • TW

    well said…

  • http://48forpanache.blogspot.com 48

    LOL! Says the woman who adamantly refuses to see that not all black women have short, kinky hair. Even take the extensions out of the equation…your assertion that every black woman who does not have short or kinky hair isn’t being true to herself is majorly flawed because black hair comes in all curl patterns/definitions and texture and yes bi-racial black women do count *gasp* Yes, they do:) Just stop already because you’re just embarrassing yourself.

  • Please

    I am a natural haired women. I wear my hair very nicely. I am in great shape. Black men don’t pay me any attention. If it isn’t one thing it is another. Black men say they want a real black women but when one is available, they don’t want anything to do with her. This is a bunch of crap! At the end of the day some of you black men want what the white men has, a white women. A black women will never be good enough for some of you. As a matter a fact, the only attention I get is from non-black men. SargeWP only sees one side of things. He always will. Like I said, black men complain that black women are trying to copy white women. Well if black men didn’t chase after them, and valued black women, maybe they would wear their natural hair. Black men nowadays are not into natural haired women. Most of them complain about fat black women, yet and still and 95% of the time when I am out, I see them with these huggggeee fat white women. On the other hand they have all of these standards for black women, but would pick a 2 ton white women in a heart beat.

  • sandrine

    You can spin doctor this topic as much as you want, but Napfro’s right. To us, our god given hair is not good enough and it’s undesireable. It’s limiting because of “this”, it’s a problem because of “that”…. If we can’t be bothered with our hair, we must not really like it. There are ways to maintain growth, protect ends without the use of weaves,but let’s face it, it’s not considered sexy or attractive. What is so wrong with admitting that black women, generally, have a negative view of their hair?

    For every 3 women who are on-point, I can spot 6 rocking cheap wigs, ratty weaves and exposed tracks.

    Has anyone answered the questions raised earlier in this discussion?

  • binks

    co-freaking sign! I always laugh when a man is trying to school a woman on what he don’t know first about, especially when it comes to hair and the likes. Unless you get weaves and deal with your hair (i.e. not just getting it cut) than come school us other than that keep it moving. The simple fact is weaves is a better option for some women who don’t want to spend hours on end on their hair but rather spend that time doing something more productive to them. Hell, I know natural women who men complain about them not getting enough “boo” time because of their hair reggie. So it damn if we do damn if we don’t

  • http://48forpanache.blogspot.com 48

    What questions? If you’re really curious, you’ll do some research. Oh I know – people aren’t really looking for answers because they’ve already made up their minds to condemn these women for their choices.

    “What is so wrong with admitting that black women, generally, have a negative view of their hair?”

    I think what irritates me is the over generalization…I actually agree that perhaps SOME women don’t like their natural hair. But that may even for a myriad of reasons that have nothing to do with not liking their heritage/identity e.g I don’t like that I have fine hair. Again, hair type is just a phenotype caused by genes that can go a bunch of ways – just like skin color/shade. There are even non-black people who share some of these physical characteristics that some people consider BLACK. IMO to sit there and act like these things are the basis for your heritage is sheer ignorance. If you prefer to wear your natural hair – fine (been there, done that) but don’t make hasty assumptions based on what a woman chooses to do with her hair.

    Btw here are some answers – in case you were truly interested

    Ethics? do your research and you’ll find that there are companies that ensure their sources are well aware and compensated for their donations.

    Hygiene? I can’t speak for all but I wash my hair regularly, oil my scalp regularly, wet it regularly. My extensions don’t stink – if anything it smells like a raspberry shea-butter leave in conditioner. Because my main concern is care of my scalp and underlying hair, everything else is taken care of…

    What else? Versatility always resulting in one style? unfounded. I have long, straight, fine hair – yet my extensions are short and curly and big. I’ll go wavy but I seldom do straight hair. Even most of the women I know who do straight extensions do go with the yaky texture so I don’t see where this assertion that women who do straight hair are trying to look like their white counterparts.

  • hehe

    Black women have a right to do whatever they want with their hair. I’ve seen women use it to for different styling options as well as women with long hair underneath their weaves. I would admit that most weaves I see are very unrealistic but it’s not my place to tell those women how they should wear their hair. What kills me most about weaves is how expensive it is and how little role black women play with distributing and selling weaves. Weave hair reminds me of the diamond industry in that the price has been artificially raised.

  • say what u want

    If u wear ur hair short and in a fro ur looked down on, if u wear it long and natural ur looked down on, if u wear it straight and weaved ur looked down on, at the end of the date it doesn’t matter what u do, u will still be looked down on. This issue goes deeper then hair. That is why, there will always be someone that says I did this or that and it still didn’t make a difference. Life it too short and if a black man ain’t checking for u, he ain’t checking for u no matter how u wear ur hair. Now if u become a white women with long hair, he will be standing in line drooling. This really is what it is all about.

  • fahrealtho

    6. It’s unethical.

    For those who purchase Indian hair, there are some ethical issues that come into play. If you saw Chris Rock’s Good Hair, you know that many of these women are tricked into believing that they are sacrificing their hair for religious purposes. Unfortunately, in actuality, their hair is being sold without them knowing about it or receiving any compensation. For many of us, the ethics involved in hair purchase don’t even cross our minds; however it should be something we consider and educate ourselves in. There are many hair companies including Indian hair retailers that pride themselves in providing ethically sourced hair. Not all weave hair is unethical.

    No it shouldn’t and no we shouldn’t care. If they choose to give their hair for their religion, but I am not of the same religion what should i care for. Black people have been exploited for centuries, no one in my family (or any other I know of) has ever received a reparations check or been giving a packet containing exactly where we came from. SO stop it with this nonsense. They choose to donate the hair, and if they don’t know where it’s going well where the hell do the THINK the hair is going? IF they give it willingly (like tithes in the corrupt Christian church dont get me started on that) their “god” will honor it regardless. What do they think, that the hair is shaved and then just left near the statue to decompose. Seriously! You guys really scrape the bottom of the barrel.

  • SWEETHUNNY62

    AMEN again. I have hair to the middle of my back but wear a weave. I don’t have the time it takes to do it and I love changing my hair to different colors and style. One thing I don’t want is my man playing in my hair anyway!!!! Ain’t no hair pulling going on so stay out. Weave doesn’t make me who I am and it’s a shame men has anything to say.

  • SWEETHUNNY62

    I’m so agreeing with you. I work, go to school, on bowling league and work out. I have hair to my back and don’t have the time or energy to maintain it.

  • Blair

    You don’t have time, or make it a priority? I go to school study engineering, work two jobs, president of an organization, Seventh-Day Adventist which gives me one last day of time to myself, and have a social life, also work out 6 days a week. And I make it a priority to do my Natural hair, which takes hours.

    I make it a priority to take care of my hair, just like I have to take care of other things in my life. Lets make less excuses and prioritize.

  • ADenAa

    Weave is a “filler” complaint. Something just to pile it on.

  • Laina

    Weaves will never be as attractive as your own hair, plain and simple. Having assisted someone take out their weave, I know that weaves aren’t particularly hygienic. If you can’t get to your scalp and scrub it, you are not cleaning your hair. Straight weaves like bone straight perms and press and curls more often than not, do not fit the typical facial structure of Black women.

  • chanela

    yes we need to get bret michaels or mickey rourke up in here to give their perspective cause they are the only two men in hollywood that i know of that wear weave/fusion hair extensions 24/8.lol i wonder if they’re self hating and lazy too……

  • ISTHISREALLIFE?

    I would not mind at all if some/certain black men want to be with people other than black women over something as simple as hair. GREAT!! Less trouble! Black hair isn’t a secret that black boys or men were hidden from. Believe it or not, not all black girls had their hair relaxed the minute they were born. I received my first relaxer when I was 10-12. I wasn’t amazed or happy when I got it done. I was just happy that I didn’t feel any of the notorious chemical burns I heard so much about. I wasn’t that impressed by my hair afterwards. After about 8 years I am now natural and I am not having any dilemma with my hair. Our hair was never a big secret to begin with. These people (Sargewep) are certain individuals who have some sort of strange connection to hair. I guess it has to do with something in their childhood…

    Black women have VARIOUS types of hair textures and it is more acceptable for us to wear different styles. However, you are kind of right that, (generally) speaking a looser hair textured may be favored to some black PEOPLE. We all want what we don’t have. The same stuff grows out of Black men’s hair as well so please this excuse needs to DIE.

    “Yea weaves ain’t an issue until little black boys start wanted black women to have long hair and one day realize they don’t have it – and then here comes BECKY with the real ish.”

    REALLY? REALLY? You can’t be serious. LOL

  • Simone

    We can try and sugar coat this as much as we want to. The bottom line is sistahs do not want to deal with their hair. Period. Stop listening to the media tell you that weaves are o.k…..their not. It’s just another form of self-hate.

  • booby

    Your a man and you don’t like me weave.
    I’m a woman and there are no fucks being given.
    NEXT!

  • http://www.chance-edu.org Joi

    Wow, this is really eye opening for me, because I did not know “hair” was this serious.

    To the Men: if you do not like weaves then don’t date women with weaves.

    To the Women: If you love your weave, then continue to wear them.

    o_O

  • http://generation-x.net Sargewp

    Actually Ladies, I had dreads for 12 years, and my hair was just over my but.

    Oh yea when I didn’t know how to do my dreads, I had weekends where I sat there for 3-6 hours trying to figure it out. BUT I LEARNED.

    Afro textured hair is much more manageable when the style is AFRO TEXTURED.

    When ur black and u have Afro textured hair and ur trying to go from black hair to WHITE PEOPLE HAIR or a MORE CAUCASIAN “ACCEPTABLE” hair style.

    Its time for a TWIX COMMERCIAL BECAUSE WE’RE GONNA BE HERE ALL DAY.

  • Marsha

    I am glad to hear all these comments because it reflects diversity. Humanity is diverse and if it is to be believed we all originated from Africa, I say what is the point of an arguement. I come from an island nation wherein we are comprised of many races because African to Chinese because they all came for the same reason …jobs. Itis about diversity and a bit about competition. So, even if you were born in Sweden and your grandmother looks straight Japanese this culture assumes you are just Black. Black Americans assume this also. So black is subjective in the heart but BW still have to compete for mates and jobs and respect. Let a BW wear a weave. She has so much more in her day to deal with than her hair. A weave affords her some time to herself She is still the largest demographic raising children alone andd brainwashed to believe that it is mosly ok not to have a black husband around. Many American born women have been brain washed yes, but still many others still love what they see in the mirror despite how darn dry their hair is. Texture is another sore point. Ok, black women mostly are not as oily as so other people so the hair tends to have gradients of curl textures. Many other races have to battle, dry, fussy, stiff straight hair. All races use relaxers because of the choice it affords them and they gain more moments to their day. I know many white women with Africanlike kinky hair dry as a bone. Don’t you think if something worked for them to have an easier day they would not take it? Many Asian women get curly perms because their hair is mostly thick strands that make getting even a good haircut impossible. Women do what they have to to compete more so than men. Blackwomen were never given the time and knowledge to take good care of their hair because right after your white master said you are free now she has had to fight everything and everyone to maintain her dignity and respect. So that is why when a black woman spots me in my wig (eventhough I have long but dry hair) she mistakenly feels she can ask me out in public “is that your hair?.” Do not assume and do not ask a women to share her beauty regimen with a complete stranger. It is just as bad when I wear my hair out and asksed the same questions by white women with damagedhair and then they proceed to stick their hands deep into my product assisted soft curls. No man has no right to tell a woman how to dress herself. A woman’s hair is her crowning glory what does a man know about that? What does a man know about how a BW hair and other womens’ hair can be completely damaged by pregnancy? Let the world judge for every aspect of your being everyday and then you begrudge a BW for maintaining her crown . Black men mind your business because you think you are a man you can tell a woman what to do. We do not live for you. If the world falls into disaster women will win out with genetic procedures and one man who can get it up. Black men because you have been dishonored do not think you can gain it back with enslaving the black womans’ mind. Some black men will have nothing to do with me and I am glad for it. One less fool to deal with in the day. You are not our God and only he/she can weigh our decisions. Black women get better hair advice because some have not been given help with good wig or weave. Black women wear your braids but I won’t because I am tender headed and all that pulling breaks off my hair and I have a high island girl forehead that looks like fivehead with braids. Also consider some women just love long hair and have an obsession with touching their hair like I do. When I wear my curls I can’t keep my hands out of it. My dear ladies it is hair our birthright to decorate ourselves any way we want to because we are ladies not just women. I bet a black man does not care when you are spread eagle giving birth to his sons. Where do hair matter then. Some black men care about supporting your black women, putting your children through school and stop drooling over white women right infront of a black woman. Many black men marry, date, love white women for the right reasons but some feel so demoralized it is easier to use a woman as a trophy even when her face looks like a land shark, her butt is a great as the Grand Canyon, and you can get her to drop her panties faster than you can a black woman who is single handedly raising mixed black children as fodder for the penal system. Life is not easy but their are ways to choose your battles. Oh, since I started wearing lace wigs my hair has grown so much more and faster and I can not wash it very much because it is dry and it is stupid to do so. Oily hair requires daily shampoo as my white husband will tell you black men.

  • anaylli

    @Marsha, the return button is your friend…

  • Uncivilized?

    Go Marsh!

  • Uncivilized?

    Luv ur post

  • ruggie

    Wow Marsha you make a lot of points. Let it out, hon. BTW ever consider steam-treating your hair? Works wonders for dryness.

  • ruggie

    I agree. How can it be unethical to use Indian hair but ethical to shave your head in the first place as a way of getting into heaven? It’s all a matter of opinion. Now if people in India were having their hair cut off against their will that would be unethical. But the present system seems to work for both sides.

  • Emily

    I have just watched a documentary on black men raping a 5 year old girl in war torn Darfur. Black men concern yourselves with this and attempting to achieve the same level of education as black women instead of worrying how black women wear their hair.

  • RealSpit

    Well since there are bad things goin on in the world I guess no one anywhere should ever have a conversation again according to your logic

  • Jane

    Just keepin’ it real girls, weaves are a major inconvenience.

    Black women are not the only ones wearing a weave. All races wear weaves… that said,

    The men don’t like it because -as already stated by some other comments- they want to play with their womens hair and caress it, which is normal in a relationship. You touch your man’s hair too. And if they find tracks, glue and other stuff in your hair while they’re going tru it, it’s just not ok.

    You can’t do anything with your hair when wearing a weave anyway. If you wanna wear a ponytail, you cant make a topknot cuz the tracks are visible at the underlayer and you don’t want people to see that, ya know…

    Short hair is IN STYLE girls! So if you are tired of wearing that tired ass weave, just cut it short.
    Think about halle berry, she has short hair alot, she ain’t complaining.

    Embrace your short(or long), curly, course, kinky hair and stop calling it “nappy”.
    There are so many forums and youtube vids about caring for your natural hair. Alot of girls damage their hair and as a responce, they wear a weave, not helping the problem on a long term. The weave causes hairloss, damaged edges, thinning ect.
    If you take care of your hair: washing it not too much, condition alot, oiling, less heat, comb tru gently…. you can have healthy LONG hair. Even if it’s kinky.

    I’m not against perming and coloring though, because if you wanna have straight hair, it’s up to you and there is nothing wrong with it. In fact, there are alot of nice looking heads of hair, who are permed you know.

    But don’t just be all high up in the sky about your weave when all you do is pushing down girls wo have short, curly, unpermed hair.

  • Sision

    Kim Kardashian wears a weave but we cannot tell because that is how her natural hair looks like. If you gave her an Afro weave would she wear it? That is the question. If you gave a balding Indian woman an Afro weave or African braids weave would she wear it? Of course not. But we are quick to embrace things that do not look like us. That is why our men have a problem.

  • Shanti

    I’m a black young lady22, I don’t like weaves, or natural hair. Them weaves are hell to get done, take care of, then take out. I’ve been natural for 12 years and I don’t like it. I’ve worn it long, short, and even big chopped 3 times. Yes I have curl/wavy hair but my confidence is turned up when my hair is straight I’m more proactive with my life. May sound a little crazy to you but I know what I like, and I know how I love to look.

  • inquizative

    Yes, they look fake and they are fake. Men don’t like a fake woman especially when it comes to her hair. Ask ANY man! Ok ladies, if your interested in what attracts a black man, take out the fake hair first. Above all, you are wearing another woman’s hair. Where is your pride? WHERE IS YOUR PRIDE?! To me you are saying that woman who cut her hair for you is better than YOU. This is how we men feel.
    Men are visual creatures your own hair means a lot to us. If your hair is not long and European , so what!
    When a man runs his hair through your head he is usually having sex with you or making love. He doesn’t want to feel a stocking cap and lumps, glue and stitches!
    Also, this “protective style” bullshit. You protect your real hair by taking care of it. Covering it up damages it, can you say Traction Alopecia. You go bald from it!
    You cannot wash you hair if its trapped under a stocking cap, glue and stitches.

    The worst part is if your man THINKS your weave is real and it turns out you hair is 2 inches long, falling out dry and damaged (that’s how it USUALLY looks after months of a weave) he will feel you are fake and you deceived him. You will look worse without the weave, mentally and physically.

    Whoever is wrote this, face it, WE BLACK MEN DO NOT LIKE WEAVES!! NO MATTER HOW YOU TRY TO CONVINCE US!

  • inquizative

    Very weak rebuttal. Is there a ball scratching epidemic like these low self-esteem lazy weave wearing women? Don’t think so!

  • JRM

    All these weave hating men need to go see doctor Phil. All I cant think about is Bill Bellamy in that movie where his mother never hugged him!!!! Awww poor baby go ask your mommy for a hug and stop hating on black women!!!

  • http://gravatar.com/taiesa Tai

    It’s YOUR hair! I say do whatever you want! Men you don’t want a girl who wears weave then don’t date one. its really that simple.

  • http://gravatar.com/taiesa Tai

    Oh and BTW Black women are NOT the only race that wear weaves. Get over it!

  • http://gravatar.com/addassamari addassamari

    When I was a little girl, I had pigtails with ribbons. I cut my long natural hair when I was 13 and my papa hit the roof. Once again, I heard how I was just like my mother who would come home with a new hairdo every week, including the time when she came home with her hair dyed foxtail red. I came to live with my mamma in the USA when I was 14 and she premed my six inch afro. I was not happy but I found a great beautician who took fabulous care of my hair and it grew back to just under two feet of long lustrous tresses.

    While in high school I often wore it in a chignon because the style suited my face and gave me classy and polished look – and was told I was trying to look white. Throughout the years may hair underwent many phases – long, short, permed, weaved, wigged, chemical curls and back to natural. Today, it is natural and only about one inch long.

    The truth, gentlemen, is that a woman’s hair is an accessory just like shoes, purses, belts, jewelry, makeup and perfume. They all complete a look and impart a certain level of confidence. It should not matter how a woman wears her hair – be it a weave, a wig, natural or chemically treated; all that should matter is that she is comfortable in her own skin and with the person who she is; she is well groomed and confident.

    More important than what is on her head should be what is inside her head,- her fine brain and agile mind; her witty personality, her caring heart, the true woman that she is. Unfortunately, so many are distracted by the package that they fail to find and appreciate the gem inside.

  • Sebastian

    i wont and will never date a woman that wears a weave….!!!

  • Alexi

    Personally, I’ve met plenty of white women or non-black women or wear clip in extensions, weaves and wigs, but for whatever reason, black women are the only ones vilified for ‘hating themselves’ or ‘pretending to be what they are not’ by wearing weaves. Just because we can’t see or don’t notice that a lot of them do it, doesn’t mean that they don’t do it too. Also, let’s talk about wearing what flatters oneself. If I know that I have a round face and having my natural hair in a long, floofy afro is not flattering to my face, I can cut it, or I can straighten/curl, or I can buy hair and straighten that, in the same way as women of other races choose their hairstyles. Or how about if I want to be able to wake up in the morning, brush my hair, and go? If I have my hair out, twist-outs, braid-outs, and other things take time to maintain that I would rather not spend, when 200 dollars (including the prices of washing it at the salon) and the price of hair gets me a pretty simple regimen for a month or two, and no stress over having to balance protein and moisture, stave off dryness, rotate deep moisturizing, detangling, and other conditioners, and other treatments that I use in my hair. But never, ever make the mistake of believing that I don’t love myself and my hair. That is all.

  • http://www.fibreview.com/ Nitesh Mundra

    If fake nails, fake boobs can be admired why not a fake hair. As far as hating one self is concerned no one would hate one self just for a fake hair. Hair weaves just is a way to enhance your natural beauty and there is nothing wrong in doing so.

  • Celie

    Amen. What about white women who spend a ton of money constantly getting tans? I’m sure they couldn’t care less about the white men who don’t want them because they like tanning.

  • Word is Born

    hmmm…. its funny how the same black guys will say they dont like fakeness and fake hair on BLACK WOMEN
    and then go off and date a white woman with all the above fakeness and more! EVEN IF U WOKE UP TOMORROW AND 99% OF BLACK WOMEN WORE THEIR WOOLY KINKY HAIR,
    GUESS WHAT…..THOSE BLACK DUDES WILL FIND SOMETHING ELSE ABOUT BLACK WOMEN TO HATE ON.

    at least 8 black guys (whom i have had the unfortunate displeasure of speaking with) told me
    TO MY FACE that white women were better in bed, better looking (the hair again, and maybe
    the nose) better attitudes etc…i was saddened and angry. i just felt like crap, what is going on
    with our peeps! IF IT AINT UR HAIR, ITS YOUR WEIGHT, OR YOUR ATTITUDE.. OR YOUR PERFORMANCE IN BED. I live in the UK btw, and the idiots saying this stuff to me were from Africa born and raised!! Sad, sorry state of affairs…

    …although i do feel that PROPER black hair care is not widely practiced. i went to get braids in
    a black salon…OMG the brushing/combing techniques were horiffic. i lost a good inch or two of growth.
    …now my face is ROUND and doesnt suit SHORT hair-its not pretty, trust..so now i’m back to wigs until
    it grows out enough then i will rock my natural hair AGAIN…so …imagine a NARROW MINDED person observin me with my wig and thinking 0-o SELF HATER! err no, just trying to grow my hair out to a length that will suit my face shape, thanks MR/MRS NARROW MINDED VIEW OF THE WORLD.

  • http://www.howtomakeyourhairgrowfastertips.com/3-reasons-why-you-shouldnt-follow-celebrity-hair-trends/ celeb hair

    Oh puhlease! I think any man who complains about women who wear weave is just controlling. If you have a problem with women wearing weave, you have much deeper issues.

  • inquizative

    An excellent point. I want to comment on the SANITARY issues. How can a woman keep her REAL hair clean if it’s braided down or corn rolled underneath a stocking cap with some white woman or Indian womans hair glued or stitched to the stocking cap! Meanwhile your Real hair that God gave you is building up dirt, oils, sweat,dandruff is trapped underneath and tangled in crude plats or corn rolls for months.. Please stop the bullcrap!

  • http://google laloba

    Weaves look fake. When the very top of a woman’s hair is flat, then the volume of the hair suddenly fans out; it makes a woman’s head look deformed. Men like to grab and caress a woman’s head romantically. Romance goes out the window when a man can’t or is not allowed to touch a woman’s head while in bed. Weaves look like a dead animal hanging off someone’s head. They are also painful, can’t swim, cause baldness and make little girls cry. Give me dreds any day of the year. Much easier to maintain, looks good, prevents hair damage, and most importantly- looks real. Matches the features. Weaves suck.

  • quentin

    Im going to invent fake muscles, a fake big a$$ dong, and then Im going to seduce a bunch of women and I’ll report back to you fine people if women will be accepting of my “accessories”.

  • T W

    I DESPISE hair weave. PERIOD!!!!! I mean really. I don’t care about how it looks, if white women wear it or ANYTHING else.
    1. If you can’t find a hair style (long or short) that looks healthy and good on you, I feel sorry for you. If you can’t find a hair style that does not require you to glue or sew someone else’s hair on your head then you really have some soul searching to do.
    2. It takes your hair out. This is a FACT. After a woman has worn weave for an extended period of time (even famous women with money), they have very thin hair and bald spots.
    3. There is a mentality that comes along with “fake hair”.
    I will not talk to a woman with weave, even if it looks good. I’m pretty good at spotting them, but even if I miss one as SOON as I learn that it’s fake, it’s over.

  • quentin

    I’m with u T W, I don’t care how pretty that fake ish makes her look, she’s instantly ugly to me. And the sad part is she’s too conceited to realize it. When she realizes that she’s beautiful just the way she is, she’ll also understand that the people who see that beauty are the only people that matter. Much love to my Beautiful Black Sisters who rock their own natural hair. I love you and I would never date or marry anyone but you.

  • bunchaBS

    Say yall can rock a million hairstyles huh? Say you don’t have a negative view about your own natural black hair huh? Say it’s not that serious huh? Say you don’t hate yourself consciously or subconsciously huh? Then riddle me this. When I look on these social networks and see that you have posted 1000 pictures of yourself, why are all 1000 of these pictures are of you wearing fake hair? Ok so maybe not all 1000 but it is 996 of them. If you look at 10,000 profiles of black women on any popular social network not only are 9,921 of them wearing fake hair in the majority of their pics but, they also have the exact same weave and whatever style is trending at the moment. So i guess the “versatility” excuse is out the window. Men lie, women lie, numbers don’t lie. Every rule has an exception however, the exception is not the rule.

    If you claim to love being black so much then why not do what is fundamental economics in other ethnic groups and spend the millions of dollars spent on your hair with people that look like you?

    Why do black men care so much about what black women do with their hair? It’s real simple, because we love and care about you and this issue is obviously so much bigger than hair.

    Now I love black women no matter what stereotype they try to put out there, no matter how they wear their hair and will never turn away from an entire group of women that directly reflect my own image. With that being said I would also like to say as a black man that I despise all weave, fake nails and those god awful eyelashes. If any of you give any fucks about us (which you will publicly say you don’t but, I know you do) then please for the love of god work with us sisters. If you must wear weave then could you lay off the fake nails, lashes, butts and whatever other new disguise they come out with? Or could you maybe just pick two fake things at a time at least?

    P.S.
    Regardless of what they tell you or what you see in the mirror, most weaves look absolutely horrible but, those dam eyelashes look even worse so I’ll take the weave over the lashes.

  • atwork

    Just sitting at my computer working hard trying to meet a deadline. Eyes burning and all. I was looking for an image of a black woman wearing jewelry for my project. I find this beautiful sister and think shes perfect. And whats this I see…some bohunk bashing black women for wearing weaves.
    Boys…Boys…Boys…. Id like to point out first how some of the black men who commented seem very verbally abusive and self hating. Why do your posts seem so angry over someones hair? Sounds like youre used to not being heard. So let me validate you.
    I respect your ill articulated opinion. Ill articulated because where is the guidance, advice, education (you are on the internet, how about some sources to enlighten us black women) and support that a black man should have for a black woman. Its apparent that this is clearly not a weave issue with the way opinions were stated. Ignoring the fact that a woman probably doesnt want you to touch her hair – weave or not, sounds kind of abusive. Abusive? Yes because she is your woman, where is your respect for her wishes…her preference?
    Screw what she wants or likes huh…you just have to play in her hair.
    Dont ignore your history. The history of our struggle in identifying with our heritage. Lets not forget where we come from. Brothers were conked in the 60’s and wore jheri curls in the 80’s for the same reasons women wear weaves. They like the way they looked wearing them or they were facing the same issues that all black people face wanting to look like a “safe” black. And lets not forget why that is, because a black person confident enough to do him in the way he sees fit would likely get hung. Those thoughts and beliefs dont just go away. Especially when the world has changed very little. Most of us are in a generational psychological noose already, and a hair weave does not validate why.

    Ignore the fact that WOMEN were raised to put their families before themselves. A woman in fact will do everything for everybody and then have to choose something of convenience for herself. Yes the weave! I have three daughters, two of which who are natural (I had to trick them. I stopped buying relaxers and kept telling them “O. Im sorry I forgot” because the state of black hair convo was way over their heads.) Hopefully my oldest will come around. But she has to unlearn just like I did. My point is, after 8 hours of work, preparing dinner, helping with homework, ironing…..combing three heads. And because there may possibly be a stereotypical comment about single black women. Let me share of myself….Met their dad when I was 15..we have been together 21 years and 4 months…married 15. Not that theres anything wrong with single black women they have more resolve than I have had the opportunity to develop.

    In fact I think that some of the strongly expressed dislike for weaves speaks in the same tone you state women wear them – Self hating, not understanding or accepting your identity. Because of societies opinion of black women who wear weaves, you instantly jump on the band wagon, abandoning us instead of enlightening us. Stop talking about black women like you cant relate, you were born by a black woman who comes from a black world where most were socially and psychologically forced to assimilate in a society they were never welcome in.

    Saying weave wearers are lazy is just fighting dirty. Again Ill state that women are raised to put others before themselves. So after everyone has worn her out, shes lazy because she wants to have her hair done in a way that doesnt need much maintenance.

    Ive been wearing weaves for 5 years now. While wearing weaves I relaxed less, there was no heat damage, no styling damage and for this reason MY HAIR GREW! Longer that it ever has been because of the habitual mistreatment (what I thought was care) of my hair. In the last two years Ive big chopped, wore a natural and ended up going back to my relaxer. then ultimately back to my weave because of sweating out my hair styles. This choice was due to lack of education, as I later learned that I have a thoroughly hydrated scalp which is rare among black women with all the generational damage to their hair. So the sweating was a good sign and it was pretty hot last summer which contributed to the excess sweaty scalp. Because Hair ignorance is really the issue here. Its ultimately not about what people think of your motives but about what works for you. Do some women need a lesson on hair care, weave and style selection…yes! But this self esteem bashing of black women has to stop. Let me remind you of a few things…

    The black hair holds geological traits. It protected our heads from the heat, but often suffered damage from the sun – Nothing has changed in the years, so we are advised to wear a silk or satin scarf on our heads to maintain the moisture throughout – weave or not. Again a
    lack of education for women to tie the wrap scarf on so tight that it gives headaches and damages your edges.
    Did you know that cosmetologists are educated on hair styles not hair care? Which is why women are duped into paying to have their hair damaged. And those that specialize in natural hair are sometimes hard to find?
    Did you know that it is advised that black women do not wash their hair but every two weeks…natural or not. The products marketed and sold to not only black women contain ingredients, like Sulfate ad alcohol that are damaging to our scalp? Lack of knowledge again because there are healthier ways to clean a black womans scalp…which is what we should clean…not the hair.
    Did you know that mishandled hair, natural or not is bound to be unhealthy and fall out?

    Some brothers are so obsessed with hair image they dont pay attention to facts or ask questions. Read a book…its in there. I suggest the Science of Black Hair. Then black man pass that knowledge to the next sister you see wearing the weaves you do not approve of. And yes, I said obsessed because did you ever wonder if one of those women with a bad or fake looking weave have alopecia, thyroid disease, or cancer? Nope you just called her fake and assumed she does not wash her hair. I wonder how old these men are? If they have respect for their mothers aunts or grannys experience with black hair? Obviously not.

    “I dont or wont ever date a woman with a weave!!!!!”

    Thats fine but why so angry? Do you get that mad over other things you rightfully opt out of?

    I am back on my natural hair journey, I have not relaxed since November. I hope I make it through the summer this year if not…..going back to my weave, while I continue to care for my natural hair and my daughters natural hair the right way. And not matter what I decide, I still prefer that No man touches it.
    Whew! That was a nice break. I have work to do!

  • Lawrence N

    I prefer the natural hair of black women it looks more attractive

  • Rude

    Priscilla, you really need to stop. You look like a 2 peso whore. Crawl back over the border, bitch.

  • Myra Esoteric

    The real self hatred is when men of color are seeking to control women’s beauty choices on the basis of race – when white women wear as many weaves as black women. Singling out black women (or insisting on ‘naturalness’) is racist, no matter how you cut it.

    BTW. I am a non black minority, and I wear weaves, “those horrible” fake eyelashes, as well as blonde highlights. This is not ethnically specific. About ‘financial loyalty’, this is not true. Go to any Asian or Middle Eastern area and people there are into Chanel, Louis Vuitton and European brands.

    The real problem comes when men consider women to be physical symbols of racial purity. Men are encouraged to seek physical improvement, but women must be “naturally thin / have natural booty / naturally light skinned” rather than “hating their own body” by fitness and beauty.

    Whether it’s black men seeking women with “authentic” hair, or those who fetishize dark skinned Asian and Latin women as more “authentic”, it takes away people’s agency because they have a vagina.

  • flawlessgam3

    So much division between BW & BM – I blame the BW because they hate listening to BM

  • Jason Andrews

    Well, just an observer. I think this is the impact of
    what happened to us couple of centuries ago. The impact of Slavery where we’ve
    been conditioned that black is ugly. Imagine seeing White women with Afros,
    won’t we find it hilarious? That’s how people see us; we’ve become the laughing
    stock of the world. The Europeans, that we are trying to imitate, do not have
    any regard for us, because they find it troubling and baffled. If the weaves
    looks natural to us, it’s fine. When it’s a blonde or looks to European, it
    then looks comical.

    It’s really far deeper in my own opinion. It comes down
    to self-hatred. In our minds we are Americans with European definition of
    beauty ingrained in us. So how can we love ourselves when all the beautiful
    stuff we see on TV is white and the bad things or negative things we see on TV,
    pretty much comes from our communities.

    These are exactly how
    they want us to think. How many of us, wear African names, we are so quick to
    give our kids European names and we expect them not think they are Europeans?