A couple of days ago, I came across an article in the blogosphere written by a black male who went on and on about why he hated weaves. One of his arguments could have been warranted – and when I say some I mean one, most of his points were ridiculous and ill-researched.

Yes we are all entitled to our own opinion but I am tired of people, black men in particular, attacking black women who wear weaves as if we are the only race wearing them. Not to mention, why is it your concern what another woman chooses to do with her hair?

As an avid weave-wearer and devoted natural-haired sista, I could care less if you, random black man, like what’s going on with my hair. It’s my hair whether it’s bought from a store or growing out of my scalp. Most can agree, the whole natural hair versus weaved hair discussion is so overdone. However, I felt compelled to debunk or refute some of the many reasons men absolutely hate weaves on our heads.

1. Weaves are fake and look fake.

Ok weave haters, you might be correct with this first thought. Weaves are indeed fake in the sense that they did not naturally grow from the wearer’s head. True story, I can’t argue with you on that. With that being said, I assume you also hate fake nails, fake boobs and Nicky Minaj’s butt.

As for the second part of this statement, “weaves look fake”, is only true on a case-by-case basis. Yes, I have seen some atrocious hot mess weaves. And yes, some of the best weaves may see a bad day. However, I can assure you that there are fabulous, you-can’t-tell-it’s-a-weave hairstyles out there. Gabrielle Union, Lauren London and Kim Kardashian (a non-black weave-wearer) just to name a few are proof that some weaves exist that do not look fake. It’s not only celebrities who can achieve believable weaves either. I have seen some great weaves on everyday women in my day. Fellas, I’m sure when approached by a woman rocking a good weave, you wouldn’t even be able to tell the difference.

2. I can’t run my fingers through your hair.

When I have my weave in, I don’t like when anyone plays in it or touches it but that goes the same for when my hair is natural or pressed. When my hair is done, I don’t want you putting your hands all in it messing it up. But hey, that’s just me. I can’t speak for all the women in the world.

3. It’s not sanitary.

Most store-bought hair is cleaned and chemically treated prior to being packaged. As for Virgin Indian hair, most retailers shampoo and condition the hair before selling. Not to mention, many weave-wearers will wash their hair to keep it fresh and clean. Do you honestly think women who wear weaves neglect to wash their hair? Again, I can’t speak for all women who wear weaves but maintaining healthy and clean hair is always a priority, whether weaved up or not.

4. A weave-wearer has a false sense of beauty and ultimately hates herself.

Again, this is another statement that can only be applied on a case-by-case basis. Yes, I agree there are some women who feel that they only look beautiful when they have their straight Yaki hair in. These women have not come to love their naturally kinky hair and prefer a more European aesthetic. However, this is not the case for all black women who wear weave. For instance, sometimes I wear a weave because I want to drastically change up my hair, whether it be experimenting with texture, color, or length. If I fried and died my natural hair, like I did some of my weaves, it would be safe to say that I would have no hair left. Weaves can be great protective hairstyles, if your real hair is maintained and treated properly. Not all of weave wearers hate ourselves.

5. She’s high maintenance.

This stereotype is annoying and silly. According to some ignorant people, natural hair sistas are down-to-earth, not afraid to get their hands dirty and care more about feminism and black rights. On the other hand, weaved up ladies or those with relaxers care more about labels, looking fly and being promiscuous. I don’t even feel the need to address these lies, so I’m just going to move down to the final reason men hate weaves.

6. It’s unethical.

For those who purchase Indian hair, there are some ethical issues that come into play. If you saw Chris Rock’s Good Hair, you know that many of these women are tricked into believing that they are sacrificing their hair for religious purposes. Unfortunately, in actuality, their hair is being sold without them knowing about it or receiving any compensation. For many of us, the ethics involved in hair purchase don’t even cross our minds; however it should be something we consider and educate ourselves in. There are many hair companies including Indian hair retailers that pride themselves in providing ethically sourced hair. Not all weave hair is unethical.

So there you have it! Note: this is just my opinion on some of black men’s many reasons why they hate weave. You can agree or disagree. But one thing is for sure, we should care more about what is on our own head than judging and categorizing others for what they choose to do to theirs.

What do you think about weave critics?

-Chelsea Wilkins

  • http://gravatar.com/taiesa Tai

    It’s YOUR hair! I say do whatever you want! Men you don’t want a girl who wears weave then don’t date one. its really that simple.

  • http://gravatar.com/taiesa Tai

    Oh and BTW Black women are NOT the only race that wear weaves. Get over it!

  • http://gravatar.com/addassamari addassamari

    When I was a little girl, I had pigtails with ribbons. I cut my long natural hair when I was 13 and my papa hit the roof. Once again, I heard how I was just like my mother who would come home with a new hairdo every week, including the time when she came home with her hair dyed foxtail red. I came to live with my mamma in the USA when I was 14 and she premed my six inch afro. I was not happy but I found a great beautician who took fabulous care of my hair and it grew back to just under two feet of long lustrous tresses.

    While in high school I often wore it in a chignon because the style suited my face and gave me classy and polished look – and was told I was trying to look white. Throughout the years may hair underwent many phases – long, short, permed, weaved, wigged, chemical curls and back to natural. Today, it is natural and only about one inch long.

    The truth, gentlemen, is that a woman’s hair is an accessory just like shoes, purses, belts, jewelry, makeup and perfume. They all complete a look and impart a certain level of confidence. It should not matter how a woman wears her hair – be it a weave, a wig, natural or chemically treated; all that should matter is that she is comfortable in her own skin and with the person who she is; she is well groomed and confident.

    More important than what is on her head should be what is inside her head,- her fine brain and agile mind; her witty personality, her caring heart, the true woman that she is. Unfortunately, so many are distracted by the package that they fail to find and appreciate the gem inside.

  • Sebastian

    i wont and will never date a woman that wears a weave….!!!

  • Alexi

    Personally, I’ve met plenty of white women or non-black women or wear clip in extensions, weaves and wigs, but for whatever reason, black women are the only ones vilified for ‘hating themselves’ or ‘pretending to be what they are not’ by wearing weaves. Just because we can’t see or don’t notice that a lot of them do it, doesn’t mean that they don’t do it too. Also, let’s talk about wearing what flatters oneself. If I know that I have a round face and having my natural hair in a long, floofy afro is not flattering to my face, I can cut it, or I can straighten/curl, or I can buy hair and straighten that, in the same way as women of other races choose their hairstyles. Or how about if I want to be able to wake up in the morning, brush my hair, and go? If I have my hair out, twist-outs, braid-outs, and other things take time to maintain that I would rather not spend, when 200 dollars (including the prices of washing it at the salon) and the price of hair gets me a pretty simple regimen for a month or two, and no stress over having to balance protein and moisture, stave off dryness, rotate deep moisturizing, detangling, and other conditioners, and other treatments that I use in my hair. But never, ever make the mistake of believing that I don’t love myself and my hair. That is all.

  • http://www.fibreview.com/ Nitesh Mundra

    If fake nails, fake boobs can be admired why not a fake hair. As far as hating one self is concerned no one would hate one self just for a fake hair. Hair weaves just is a way to enhance your natural beauty and there is nothing wrong in doing so.

  • Word is Born

    hmmm…. its funny how the same black guys will say they dont like fakeness and fake hair on BLACK WOMEN
    and then go off and date a white woman with all the above fakeness and more! EVEN IF U WOKE UP TOMORROW AND 99% OF BLACK WOMEN WORE THEIR WOOLY KINKY HAIR,
    GUESS WHAT…..THOSE BLACK DUDES WILL FIND SOMETHING ELSE ABOUT BLACK WOMEN TO HATE ON.

    at least 8 black guys (whom i have had the unfortunate displeasure of speaking with) told me
    TO MY FACE that white women were better in bed, better looking (the hair again, and maybe
    the nose) better attitudes etc…i was saddened and angry. i just felt like crap, what is going on
    with our peeps! IF IT AINT UR HAIR, ITS YOUR WEIGHT, OR YOUR ATTITUDE.. OR YOUR PERFORMANCE IN BED. I live in the UK btw, and the idiots saying this stuff to me were from Africa born and raised!! Sad, sorry state of affairs…

    …although i do feel that PROPER black hair care is not widely practiced. i went to get braids in
    a black salon…OMG the brushing/combing techniques were horiffic. i lost a good inch or two of growth.
    …now my face is ROUND and doesnt suit SHORT hair-its not pretty, trust..so now i’m back to wigs until
    it grows out enough then i will rock my natural hair AGAIN…so …imagine a NARROW MINDED person observin me with my wig and thinking 0-o SELF HATER! err no, just trying to grow my hair out to a length that will suit my face shape, thanks MR/MRS NARROW MINDED VIEW OF THE WORLD.

  • http://www.howtomakeyourhairgrowfastertips.com/3-reasons-why-you-shouldnt-follow-celebrity-hair-trends/ celeb hair

    Oh puhlease! I think any man who complains about women who wear weave is just controlling. If you have a problem with women wearing weave, you have much deeper issues.

  • quentin

    Im going to invent fake muscles, a fake big a$$ dong, and then Im going to seduce a bunch of women and I’ll report back to you fine people if women will be accepting of my “accessories”.

  • T W

    I DESPISE hair weave. PERIOD!!!!! I mean really. I don’t care about how it looks, if white women wear it or ANYTHING else.
    1. If you can’t find a hair style (long or short) that looks healthy and good on you, I feel sorry for you. If you can’t find a hair style that does not require you to glue or sew someone else’s hair on your head then you really have some soul searching to do.
    2. It takes your hair out. This is a FACT. After a woman has worn weave for an extended period of time (even famous women with money), they have very thin hair and bald spots.
    3. There is a mentality that comes along with “fake hair”.
    I will not talk to a woman with weave, even if it looks good. I’m pretty good at spotting them, but even if I miss one as SOON as I learn that it’s fake, it’s over.

  • quentin

    I’m with u T W, I don’t care how pretty that fake ish makes her look, she’s instantly ugly to me. And the sad part is she’s too conceited to realize it. When she realizes that she’s beautiful just the way she is, she’ll also understand that the people who see that beauty are the only people that matter. Much love to my Beautiful Black Sisters who rock their own natural hair. I love you and I would never date or marry anyone but you.

  • bunchaBS

    Say yall can rock a million hairstyles huh? Say you don’t have a negative view about your own natural black hair huh? Say it’s not that serious huh? Say you don’t hate yourself consciously or subconsciously huh? Then riddle me this. When I look on these social networks and see that you have posted 1000 pictures of yourself, why are all 1000 of these pictures are of you wearing fake hair? Ok so maybe not all 1000 but it is 996 of them. If you look at 10,000 profiles of black women on any popular social network not only are 9,921 of them wearing fake hair in the majority of their pics but, they also have the exact same weave and whatever style is trending at the moment. So i guess the “versatility” excuse is out the window. Men lie, women lie, numbers don’t lie. Every rule has an exception however, the exception is not the rule.

    If you claim to love being black so much then why not do what is fundamental economics in other ethnic groups and spend the millions of dollars spent on your hair with people that look like you?

    Why do black men care so much about what black women do with their hair? It’s real simple, because we love and care about you and this issue is obviously so much bigger than hair.

    Now I love black women no matter what stereotype they try to put out there, no matter how they wear their hair and will never turn away from an entire group of women that directly reflect my own image. With that being said I would also like to say as a black man that I despise all weave, fake nails and those god awful eyelashes. If any of you give any fucks about us (which you will publicly say you don’t but, I know you do) then please for the love of god work with us sisters. If you must wear weave then could you lay off the fake nails, lashes, butts and whatever other new disguise they come out with? Or could you maybe just pick two fake things at a time at least?

    P.S.
    Regardless of what they tell you or what you see in the mirror, most weaves look absolutely horrible but, those dam eyelashes look even worse so I’ll take the weave over the lashes.

    • Myra Esoteric

      The real self hatred is when men of color are seeking to control women’s beauty choices on the basis of race – when white women wear as many weaves as black women. Singling out black women (or insisting on ‘naturalness’) is racist, no matter how you cut it.

      BTW. I am a non black minority, and I wear weaves, “those horrible” fake eyelashes, as well as blonde highlights. This is not ethnically specific. About ‘financial loyalty’, this is not true. Go to any Asian or Middle Eastern area and people there are into Chanel, Louis Vuitton and European brands.

      The real problem comes when men consider women to be physical symbols of racial purity. Men are encouraged to seek physical improvement, but women must be “naturally thin / have natural booty / naturally light skinned” rather than “hating their own body” by fitness and beauty.

      Whether it’s black men seeking women with “authentic” hair, or those who fetishize dark skinned Asian and Latin women as more “authentic”, it takes away people’s agency because they have a vagina.

  • atwork

    Just sitting at my computer working hard trying to meet a deadline. Eyes burning and all. I was looking for an image of a black woman wearing jewelry for my project. I find this beautiful sister and think shes perfect. And whats this I see…some bohunk bashing black women for wearing weaves.
    Boys…Boys…Boys…. Id like to point out first how some of the black men who commented seem very verbally abusive and self hating. Why do your posts seem so angry over someones hair? Sounds like youre used to not being heard. So let me validate you.
    I respect your ill articulated opinion. Ill articulated because where is the guidance, advice, education (you are on the internet, how about some sources to enlighten us black women) and support that a black man should have for a black woman. Its apparent that this is clearly not a weave issue with the way opinions were stated. Ignoring the fact that a woman probably doesnt want you to touch her hair – weave or not, sounds kind of abusive. Abusive? Yes because she is your woman, where is your respect for her wishes…her preference?
    Screw what she wants or likes huh…you just have to play in her hair.
    Dont ignore your history. The history of our struggle in identifying with our heritage. Lets not forget where we come from. Brothers were conked in the 60′s and wore jheri curls in the 80′s for the same reasons women wear weaves. They like the way they looked wearing them or they were facing the same issues that all black people face wanting to look like a “safe” black. And lets not forget why that is, because a black person confident enough to do him in the way he sees fit would likely get hung. Those thoughts and beliefs dont just go away. Especially when the world has changed very little. Most of us are in a generational psychological noose already, and a hair weave does not validate why.

    Ignore the fact that WOMEN were raised to put their families before themselves. A woman in fact will do everything for everybody and then have to choose something of convenience for herself. Yes the weave! I have three daughters, two of which who are natural (I had to trick them. I stopped buying relaxers and kept telling them “O. Im sorry I forgot” because the state of black hair convo was way over their heads.) Hopefully my oldest will come around. But she has to unlearn just like I did. My point is, after 8 hours of work, preparing dinner, helping with homework, ironing…..combing three heads. And because there may possibly be a stereotypical comment about single black women. Let me share of myself….Met their dad when I was 15..we have been together 21 years and 4 months…married 15. Not that theres anything wrong with single black women they have more resolve than I have had the opportunity to develop.

    In fact I think that some of the strongly expressed dislike for weaves speaks in the same tone you state women wear them – Self hating, not understanding or accepting your identity. Because of societies opinion of black women who wear weaves, you instantly jump on the band wagon, abandoning us instead of enlightening us. Stop talking about black women like you cant relate, you were born by a black woman who comes from a black world where most were socially and psychologically forced to assimilate in a society they were never welcome in.

    Saying weave wearers are lazy is just fighting dirty. Again Ill state that women are raised to put others before themselves. So after everyone has worn her out, shes lazy because she wants to have her hair done in a way that doesnt need much maintenance.

    Ive been wearing weaves for 5 years now. While wearing weaves I relaxed less, there was no heat damage, no styling damage and for this reason MY HAIR GREW! Longer that it ever has been because of the habitual mistreatment (what I thought was care) of my hair. In the last two years Ive big chopped, wore a natural and ended up going back to my relaxer. then ultimately back to my weave because of sweating out my hair styles. This choice was due to lack of education, as I later learned that I have a thoroughly hydrated scalp which is rare among black women with all the generational damage to their hair. So the sweating was a good sign and it was pretty hot last summer which contributed to the excess sweaty scalp. Because Hair ignorance is really the issue here. Its ultimately not about what people think of your motives but about what works for you. Do some women need a lesson on hair care, weave and style selection…yes! But this self esteem bashing of black women has to stop. Let me remind you of a few things…

    The black hair holds geological traits. It protected our heads from the heat, but often suffered damage from the sun – Nothing has changed in the years, so we are advised to wear a silk or satin scarf on our heads to maintain the moisture throughout – weave or not. Again a
    lack of education for women to tie the wrap scarf on so tight that it gives headaches and damages your edges.
    Did you know that cosmetologists are educated on hair styles not hair care? Which is why women are duped into paying to have their hair damaged. And those that specialize in natural hair are sometimes hard to find?
    Did you know that it is advised that black women do not wash their hair but every two weeks…natural or not. The products marketed and sold to not only black women contain ingredients, like Sulfate ad alcohol that are damaging to our scalp? Lack of knowledge again because there are healthier ways to clean a black womans scalp…which is what we should clean…not the hair.
    Did you know that mishandled hair, natural or not is bound to be unhealthy and fall out?

    Some brothers are so obsessed with hair image they dont pay attention to facts or ask questions. Read a book…its in there. I suggest the Science of Black Hair. Then black man pass that knowledge to the next sister you see wearing the weaves you do not approve of. And yes, I said obsessed because did you ever wonder if one of those women with a bad or fake looking weave have alopecia, thyroid disease, or cancer? Nope you just called her fake and assumed she does not wash her hair. I wonder how old these men are? If they have respect for their mothers aunts or grannys experience with black hair? Obviously not.

    “I dont or wont ever date a woman with a weave!!!!!”

    Thats fine but why so angry? Do you get that mad over other things you rightfully opt out of?

    I am back on my natural hair journey, I have not relaxed since November. I hope I make it through the summer this year if not…..going back to my weave, while I continue to care for my natural hair and my daughters natural hair the right way. And not matter what I decide, I still prefer that No man touches it.
    Whew! That was a nice break. I have work to do!

  • Lawrence N

    I prefer the natural hair of black women it looks more attractive

  • Rude

    Priscilla, you really need to stop. You look like a 2 peso whore. Crawl back over the border, bitch.

  • flawlessgam3

    So much division between BW & BM – I blame the BW because they hate listening to BM

  • Jason Andrews

    Well, just an observer. I think this is the impact of
    what happened to us couple of centuries ago. The impact of Slavery where we’ve
    been conditioned that black is ugly. Imagine seeing White women with Afros,
    won’t we find it hilarious? That’s how people see us; we’ve become the laughing
    stock of the world. The Europeans, that we are trying to imitate, do not have
    any regard for us, because they find it troubling and baffled. If the weaves
    looks natural to us, it’s fine. When it’s a blonde or looks to European, it
    then looks comical.

    It’s really far deeper in my own opinion. It comes down
    to self-hatred. In our minds we are Americans with European definition of
    beauty ingrained in us. So how can we love ourselves when all the beautiful
    stuff we see on TV is white and the bad things or negative things we see on TV,
    pretty much comes from our communities.

    These are exactly how
    they want us to think. How many of us, wear African names, we are so quick to
    give our kids European names and we expect them not think they are Europeans?

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