Warning: This article may be TMI!
One hot, long weekend at my man’s place, I laid stretched out on his disheveled sheets debating how much longer I planned to lounge. Enjoying a quiet moment before preparing for Monday’s pending inevitability, the mood swiftly changed with this statement:
Are you going to do something about that?
Completely thrown off balance by my boo’s quizzical tone, I stared blankly at him to make sure he was referring to what I already knew.
“It’s getting out of control,” he said, affirming my suspicion. I looked down at my overgrown bikini line, feeling a little embarrassed. Not because he noticed, but because he pointed it out.
After the hairy situation at my love’s apartment I made an appointment at the waxer. Regardless of whether he said something or not, I planned to eventually make the trip. But the declaration of his disapproval made me think about the pressure black women go through just to groom the hair on our heads — let alone the hair on our bodies.
It wasn’t until my senior year of high school that I started grooming my bikini line. I had my first serious boyfriend and decided to become sexually active, so I wanted it to look nice. In doing so, I didn’t realize I was adding another item to my list of hair styling concerns. During my sophomore year in college — out of pure curiosity — I tried my first bikini wax. After that, I ditched my razor forever for the smoother and long-lasting results. I thought a few uncomfortable minutes were a small price to pay for beauty.
Award winning actress Mo’ Nique, started a major debate when she decided to reveal her hairy legs at the 2010 Golden Globes. It seemed that the hair on her legs overshadowed her amazing win at the awards ceremony that evening. When a woman chooses not to shave, wax, tweeze, or Nair her body hair should this be considered a poor grooming habit or a choice? Mo’ Nique explained her reasons for not shaving are based on convenience.
I must show America what a real leg looks like … because it’s too much in the morning, every morning, to shave, to cut, you got Band-Aids, baby. — Mo’ Nique
Later, she also stated “hairy legs are a black woman thing.”
Since a full bikini wax includes the legs, it made me wonder:
To believe that is a “black woman” thing to be hairy is ignorant. Although the hairs on our body protect us from bacteria,and keep us warm, Sometimes it just becomes a bit much I’ve recently began waxing mainly because of various conversation mainly between men who say they like it bald nonetheless I feel that once cleaned in that area, you feel much better hygenically
I think its a little ridiculous that your man felt the need to point out your bikini line. And to make the comment like it was an affront to him. I’ve dated men who prefer a smoother area in that regard and while I’ve also done the deed, I eventually gave up after reading how waxing can do more harm than good. Basically, it takes away a line of defense for that area of the body against bacteria. Think of it as douching.
Furthermore, if he’s not manscaping…how can it be expected that you would do the same? Trim it down, but balding it out…what are you 12?
SO TRUE!!!! i hate how the main dudes saying ” ew my woman needs to keep her ish waxed” are the men who refuse to even trim their hairs.
actually men didnt really care until recently and its cause of porn. women in porn started getting the brazilian wax in the early 90s and then other women followed. it makes sense. men watch porn and then think ” hmm i wish my woman could look like that/do that” so then women of course want to compete for their man (SMH) so then it became common to have child looking vaginas.
its weird how people say its unsanitary and disgusting and even “unnatural” when people just kinda started getting bikini waxes. we now have little girls trying to get bikini waxes now. ughh
http://www.alternet.org/story/149191/12_year_olds_getting_bikini_waxes:_why_do_women_do_such_terrible_things_to_their_vaginas/
Hair on whatever part of the body is natural and what God gave us. I would never in a million years shave my vagina bald! NO WAY! In fact, the men who I have had relationships with love hair on the vagina. I think your love was outta line when he told you that. Thanks for posting this story though.
Why does it have to be a black thing? I think it’s just a preference in general. I’m sure there are women of other races who choose to keep it waxed or go au naturale.
And why should anyone be surprised that a woman would consider her man’s taste in deciding either. As if women didn’t base their appearances on what men prefer anyway, whether they’re willing to admit it or not — hair, style, or anything else.
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To each its own. But women need to stop conforming to what want instead of doing what your spirit feels. I am natural, hair from my head to my feet…namely in the winter. My man just so happens to like me this way, if he didn’t he would have to get over it. I’ve done the hair less thing a few times, but we are grown ass women, not pre pubesant girls. We have hair on our virgina’s. Not saying run around like a wild bushwick lady, but you can keep a neat bush. I love it. They only like us hairless down there because they watch them nasty porn broads and thing real women should be like that.
To each its own. But women need to stop conforming to what men want instead of doing what your spirit feels. I am natural, hair from my head to my feet…namely in the winter. My man just so happens to love me this way, if he didn’t he would have to get over it. I’ve done the hair less thing a few times, but we are grown ass women, not pre pubesant girls. We have hair on our virgina’s. Not saying run around like a wild bushwick lady, but you can keep a neat bush. I love it. Men only prefer us hairless down there because they watch them nasty porn broads and think real women should be like that.
I have to be honest… I groom for me. I don’t groom for men, I groom for ME. I am very single and my “cooch” is in order, even though it is winter. lol
I’ve never dated a man that had a problem with my hair down there. PERIOD. I try to keep it as neat as possible, but it’s definitely not a priority.
I personally don’t like it bald down there, especially with it being said that the hairs are there for protection from bacteria.
But why would Monique say that hairiness is a Black women thing?
I have heard that hairy legs is a Black woman thing… At some point in time I think shaved legs weren’t a priority for Black men…
Now a days men of all races would probably prefer a shaved leg tho.
I agree with Nic, I don’t think it is a black woman thing nor is it fair to say so because it is a personal preference. Personally, I don’t care for excess hair so I get rid of it whenever I can, now I don’t go bare down there but keep enough hair so I don’t look like a prepubescent kid. But my face would have been red as a tomato wow…that was bold that he came out and said it like that, hence why I have no problem now pointing out that men need to do some landscaping themselves. But I think most people, especially men, expect it bare down there or tamed due to the images that we see daily of being nearly bald everywhere except your head
Oh god! I really don’t need any more black celebrities speaking for all black people! Hairy legs and an unkempt bikini area are an issue of personal hygiene preferences, not race. I started shaving my legs/underarms and bikini area around the time I hit puberty. I personally don’t think it’s that big of a chore. I also think it’s a little more hygienic especially during the warmer months.
how do you ladies feel about anal bleaching??? people are doing that now along with bikini waxes. wth does an anus need to be bleached? i mean who is really looking at your anus like that?lol
LOL… I heard about that before and to me that is way to extra, I’ am starting to hear about a jump in areola reduction???? But it goes back to what you said about playboy and porn in general. When we see naked bodies on tv and print it is usually one standard of a woman’s body so a lot of people compare and measure themselves by what they think they are suppose to look down there or nake instead of thinking that we all vary nude. Not to get graphic but if we showed a picture of a vagina au natural with no touch ups/procedures done reactions would be funny and sad
yeah i think thats too far! there are also women getting cosmetic surgery for their vaginas to make it look less wrinkly and to make the lips really short cause the women in porn do it for the “perfect”vagina. i used to be insecure about the way my vagina looked too cause i had seen porn n stuff a couple times and those women looked different and i thought something was wrong with me but my boyfriend looked at me like i was crazy and was like ” wtf? every woman’s vagina looks like this thats what its supposed to look like.”
girl calm down. different people do different things.
p.s. somw women even bleech there couch to give it that young and untouched look.
LOL!!!! Like a virgin…..touched 4 the very 1st time….
I don’t see what anyone does “down there” is anyone else business…
so glad i read this article because I was just talking about getting a Brazilian (for me I’m single as ever) but now I don’t think i want to after researching the risks. But woman- scaping will be done no doubt.
Oh and let my man point it out to me..my quick tempered self would’ve told him off REAL quick.
It’s a woman thing. Shaving/waxing is time consuming, especially when it comes to the cooch. I have never understood the Brazilian wax. It’s too much for maintenance and money for me, plus when it grows back I’m gonna go crazy with stubble and ingrown hairs. A trimmed bush with a shaved bikini line is fine for me. Besides, trying to shave everything down there with a razor is dangerous! lol
When men become bald is when we can talk. I don’t see any men talking about “my woman likes it when I’m bald so that’s why i do it.” Please! If they watch porn, they should also note that the males dont’ have pubic hair either. I’m just saying…Adults are supposed to have pubic hair, get over it. You have hair on ur balls, I have hair on my cooch. As long as neither party encounters a wash-n-go puff, everything is fine!
* i mean having leg hair is a human thing
exactly!!
I also agree. Shaving the line and trimming the bush is my idea of maintenence too. The hair has a purpose being there whether we like it or not.
And I had the ingrown hairs problem too, but mostly under my arms. But that can be solved with azulene oil. It works well and keeps your skin smooth.
Overall, proper hygiene should be the most important.
Well for some who say some women do it for men, I disagree. I’m not sexually active, and I trim. I don’t think I could ever leave it bald though. I only wax and close-shave my armpits. I prefer a hairless pit, cause I like to wear tank and tube tops for the summer. I stop waxing when warm season is over and just do a simple shave. Or sometimes not at all….
Monique may be right about the leg shaving thing. I don’t shave my legs either; but they are naturally hairless.
There’s a line to draw in conformity. We’re all unnatural pretty much.
Hair is meant to grow under your arms, on and near your genitals, on your arms, head, face and so forth. If someone doesn’t like that fact, they can do as they please.
I also think your boyfriend was kinda rude to tell you that. But I hope you told him to shave his hairy balls.
I’ve been getting a bikini wax since I was 16 so I’ve never had a complaint from a man. But that Mo’nique thing burned me up cause she made a huge generalization about black women vanity habits. Just because you don’t do it…does not mean that I don’t do it.
On the rare occasion that I do see a black chic at the beach who hasn’t had a trim, I can safely assume she in not from Cali. What you do with your bikini line is your business but you will face humiliation and public scorn if you it shows in public.
I notice in some of your comments you do the same thing.
You seem to bring Black women into your comments and make generalizations. What they do, what they don’t do, what they should do, etc; it’s no different to me than what Monique said.
How unfortunate.
It is because of porn! & Men that are insistent, watch enough porn for them to have the balls to ask the woman they are with to change it. & white porn that is. Black hair grows in a lot differently than other races. We have curly hair. In turn, curly pubes. I personally think a bare Vag with ingrown hair bumps and an increased chance for infection would be less attractive than a woman who is confident in her body, with pubic hair and no ingrowns. To each their own. But many are doing that to compete with a porn standard.