“All the other Black girls were cute, but this one was fine. I mean gorgeous! The girl was bad!” the young man exclaimed. His friend quickly responded, “I mean how bad could she be?” “Man, she was Black and Asian, enough said.” And the anxious friend responded with a big grin on his face, saying, “ Yeah, she was fine then! She must have had that exotic look down packed!”

Now you would think this conversation was between two young boys, maybe in high school, discussing the girls they’ve seen. Nope, not at all. These were two college-educated Black men who have traveled the world, and if you saw their resumes on paper they would seem like “great catches.”

Being friends with males always gives me a chance to eavesdrop on such honest conversations. Oh, the perks! Usually I dismiss half of the foolishness that is said, but for some reason this remark lingered in my mind. After that comment,  I started to realize that more and more men and media have a thing about the exotic look. Even in media, and on red carpets, the majority of women who are dubbed as “Beautiful” are racially ambiguous.

Now, I understand that in today’s day and age we are all mixed with different cultures and ethnicity backgrounds. For example, my father is Nigerian and my mother is Black from the States (with a mix of ethnicities going back generations). So I know that the term “Black” incorporates a wide variety of cultures. But it is extremely interesting when I see in the media that when Black is mixed with Brazilian, Asian, or Indian, it is instantly termed “exotic,” which a lot of times equals instant beauty. This is not only in the media. Often men will first describe a woman by pointing out her cultural background, if it’s a mixture.

All women of color are truly beautiful. Having different traits, figures, and personalities is certainly empowering—but is only a specific part of the beauty of women of color being appreciated? Media shows us a slew of racially ambiguous women in the section for Black hair care, on magazine covers, in ads, and on the right arms of numerous men in the entertainment industry.

It’s funny. Even when I was a young girl, if a Black girl was asked what ethnicity she was, she would quickly name off five different other races. My personal fave was when a girl grabbed her hair and remarked, “Well, technically, I have Indian in my family.”

This is not to dismiss or diss any woman coming from mixed cultures, or another country. The reason why women of color are so fly is that we come in so many different shades. It just seems that more and more, in lyrics and the media, I’m beginning to hear and see the description of a woman’s race being called out to prove how fine she is. As my male friends were talking, I realized that they did not state anything about her face, body or personality—just strictly her mixed ethnicity and she received instant beauty approval. If my friend had said the woman was simply Black would his friend have pulled out the stamp of approval so easily?

I have to say that I’m happy to see that more women of color are getting shine, but is the spotlight specifically skipping over Black women?

-Ellisa Oyewo

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50 Comments

  1. Adamantine says:

    I’ve just thought about something. The other day I read something about Cleopatra in ancient Egypt being forced by Caesar to accept to forbid Egyptians from marrying other Egyptians. This is said to have led to the exctinction of Egyptians as a culturally distinct people.
    Whether this is true or not, I don’t know. But maybe the infatuation with “mixed” Black girls has to do with unconscious shame about being “just” Black. A will to blend into larger society and no longer exist as a distinct community. Maybe. Unconscious.

    • Sherrie says:

      I agree with your comment Adamantine. I consider myself fine and both my parents are African-Americans!

  2. Nisha says:

    I truly think so- Being ‘just Black’ is considered so common. Black women tend to be looked at as an old used dish rag, that can easliy be used and discarded, then again reused at will. It’s sad that some Black girls will disregard their two black parents, to pay homage to their great great great grand mother on their mom said that had a fair complexion and mid back length hair! I mean their is nothing wrong with that, but, you come from your parents, you get your likeness FROM them. BE PROUD! Hope this isn’t going over anyone’s head here, but I’ve seen and heard of stuff like this a lot in my short life and it is irritating. Being Black is exotic enough in itself. IMHO.

  3. Dash says:

    Exotic: of foreign origin or character; not native; introduced from abroad, but not fully naturalized or acclimatized:
    No one can be “exotic” in America we are a melting pot and we all came from somewhere else so technically we are all exotic. That term is a bunch of BS. Exotic just means “foreign.” Someone is exotic somewhere else. A black woman is deemed “exotic” in Italy and Eastern Europe (among tons of other places) I think some men need to cut the BS out and just say what they want, light skinned or bi-racial women. That’s it. “Black” is such an inherently mixed race it boggles my mind why people continue to say “just Black.” There is no “just” in such a complex multi-spectrum race that is Black. We have all been brainwashed to believe black is not beautiful and that’s all this comes down to. It’s heartbreaking and completely maddening at the same time. If someone is remotely attractive the suspicion is they can’t be “all Black.” The historical break down of the black self esteem has done us in up until 2010 and undoubtedly way beyond. It permeates even the most “educated and worldly.” This notion stems from deep self hatred that many have fallen victim to. To turn the corner we have many many years of undoing damage that was targeted for this breakdown. It is about challenging and changing attitudes, instilling love and opening eyes. I bet if you asked these “men” exactly why someone’s race automatically makes them beautiful by default then you can begin to have the conversation about where these ideas come from. Don’t let it slide. Challenge them. Then we can begin to go beyond just blog posts and virtually commenting on the topic.

  4. Kiya says:

    I think that there may be a focus on not being ‘just black’. I am mixed race and people come up to me all time asking “what are u mixed with?” , “are you full black.. cause i was looking at your hair..?” and i think that they honestly just want to know what sets me appart from them. if you have a certain look, people will want to find out ‘what you are’. This may be the reason people ‘distort’ their parents backgrounds, in order to stand out and be different .ive been called exotic and to be honest its not compliment. i aint a fruit or an animal im a human being.

    • noneya says:

      I see what you are saying. People were always asking me about my mom or if she was my mom, when I was little. She still gets people asking her if she is hispanic and some people have gotten her mixed up with native americans. She just tells them that she is black, although my mom’s parents are biracial. I think this is getting to be a sore issues and as a black person, I don’t feel that we should force biracial people to identify as being just black when one of their parents are not. It is not about being someone else or being ashamed about being black, but it is about creating your own identity. Oh and I get the hair comments too and if they only knew that i wish i had different hair, so that i can actually style it.. they would not be too quick to make those comments.

  5. FunkyHairChic says:

    This is a great read and it’s definitely truth to the preferences of some black men today. The media, music, and society in general, have shown some of our black men a different perception of beauty and I find it disturbing. To be labeled as “beautiful or exotic” simply based on the European/Asian-esque features a woman may possess is a slap in the face to us authentic, home-grown, brown-skinned sistas, like myself. My background is 100% African. Both of my parents are from Ghanaian and I was born here in the states. My skin is a smooth, chocolatey tone and my hair is funky and au naturelle. Men have approached me and have made positive references to my “look”. I’ve been told I look exotic, gorgeous, and some not so pleasing comments like, “You are beautiful for a dark-skinned girl.” But to answer the driving question, I’d have to say, yes, authentic black woman are slowly becoming the less desired choice for many black men and media. I commend those men who have a geniune love for a black woman and all that she is. But the media is teaching our young generation that if she’s not a “long-haired thick redbone”, then she doesn’t have a chance. Lil’ Wayne and other rappers are known for voicing their preferences on their woman of choice. However, I have noticed that more women of color are being featured in commercials and print ads. They are not necessarily of a mixed race, but black with natural hair. I don’t want to believe that black women are losing their luster in the spotlight. In fact, I believe black women are very much a part of the mainstream. I think the perception is more prevalent now with the direction hip hop has taken in the last few years.

    • what-what says:

      Oh my gosh* this is me as well, with the exact same comments and both my parents are Ghanaian too.

  6. Joy May-Harris says:

    The irony. Look at the top of the page… Clutch: Ushering in The New Era for Young Women of Color. We don’t even want to say that this is the new Essence or something along those lines. The word “Black”? Seems taboo nowadays. No wonder some Black men feel the need to validate any and everything racially ambiguous.

  7. binks says:

    I heard a lot of people say this and I just shake my head because people use the word “exotic” wrong, exotic isn’t a substitute for biracial women. Secondly, anybody can be exotic depending on your location and how someone views you. For example, I think Indian actress Aishwarya Rai looks exotic and beautiful but someone from India might not think that because they lived there and gotten use to the look of the women from that region, just like I don’t view Chanel Iman as exotic, is she beautiful of course but I personally wouldn’t say exotic. If black women go to other parts of the world we would be deem as exotic there. And I believe you don’t have to be biracial to be “exotic” because there are people with parents of the same race would have odd but intriguing features that you can’t place. I think this is just another form of colorism in the 21st century. At one time, all you needed was to be light skin for some black men now you have to be biracial or this that and the other, it never ends. That is why self-esteem is so important now and something we need to teach our girls. All of this Just Black is stupid, because nobody is just anything in terms of racial identity. But want one man may not find “exotic” another man will…so shrugs…

    • Orange Star Happy Hunting says:

      ITA here too, I’ve been called exotic told I have an exotic beauty been confused for being directly(immediate parents) mixed etc.
      That’s the beauty of being black, who else is as diverse?

      Also sometimes folk that are directly mixed, end up on the bad end of that, doesn’t always produce “beauty”

    • noneya says:

      I agree with your post!

  8. Perisa says:

    I concur with this article! I can not tell you how many times I am approached by all races of men but more specifically black men and am asked what am I mixed with or what country I am from. But don’t get it twisted I am a dark cherry red undertone chocolate tan kind of like Kenya Moore and Kelly Rowland, my skin color is rather unique and it took me some time to embrace it and love myself contrary to the euro centriscim that is bombarded every day of our lives. I have a very Kimorish/Ameri face, high cheekbones and very chinky eyes but guess what? I AM FULL AMERICAN. My mom is from Arkansas, a beautiful bronze tawny red head (creole/native indian back ground) and my dad is from South Carolina and was a very chocolate red color. But men do not want to believe that for a bit!, No Your Brazilian, no your Chinese and Jamaican! No your Cherokee and Black (which is more closer to the truth) it’s like we have been brainwashed that there is no such thing as a beautiful (dark) woman in the USA, she has to be mixed. My boyfriend’s friends still refer to me as “where is your Brazilian girl?” Like huh?They want to believe that to make me seem more desirable. We need to be more exposed to abundance and depth of how beautiful we are in the media. I mean I have to mixed in order to beautiful? We are the originators of every other races features for Christ’s Sake! Ignorance is on display in full blast in 2010. I personally do not deem lighter or white features exotic because that standard of beauty is soooo common. Black has always been exotic and unique!

    • Orange Star Happy Hunting says:

      “Black has always been exotic and unique!”

      Exactly!!! Nothing is more exotic imo!!!!

  9. Keke says:

    I have many friends who are biracial, as well as family members. And the one thing they laugh about is this: that people assume some racial or ethnic mixture somehow bestows beauty. It doesn’t. If two good looking people, regardless of their background get together, more than likely, they may have good looking children. I hate it when I hear brothers say “Oh she mixed? Then she must be fine!” I don’t know if they got the memo, but just because a person is mixed does not guarantee they will be beautiful. Beauty spans all manner of people, and it is not limited to what is considered “exotic.”

  10. Interested says:

    The answer is a big YES. No doubt about it. It is getting harder and harder to find Black women who look like what the MAJORITY of Black women both in America and worldwide look like. You see it in the rap/R&B videos, you see it in the Black tv commercials/advertisements, you see it in Black tv shows and movies, you see it in the Black magazines, it is all over. The only place it has not take hold yet is in sports that have a high percentage of Black female atheletes like the WNBA & track. But I bet they are working on trying to “Fix” that “Problem”. It is truly disgusting. Roles and jobs that should go to Black actresses/performers are going to the Hispanic woman/girl, the Biracial woman/girl, the Asian woman/girl, the White woman/girl, etc, it is pathetic and disgusting that the Black female is being pushed out of a space that is HERS and HERS alone. And of course this has been going on forever in the streets of the Black community. First it was light-skin, then it was mixed, now it is straight up non-Black/Mixed-with Black-but-barely, as the standards of female beauty in the Black race. That is doing nothing but DESTROYING the self-esteem and emotional well being of our young Black girls the world over.

    It truly makes me sick!

    • chic noir says:

      funny enough, in high fashion you can still find many very dark-skinned blk women.

      • Annika says:

        True, Jeneil Williams and Ataui Deng are two who come to mind, in fact they closed the Lanvin Spring 2011 show last month. Ajak is another new face to watch for. But they still don’t get nearly as much work as European girls do. It’s insane to me how many designers use only exclusively white girls.

  11. Kesha says:

    My both of my mother’s grandparents are part native american (I held my great Grandfather’s Indian Registry Log in my hand the other day!) However, since I was little, if I was asked my ethnicity I always answered African American. No qualifying being black with Native American Ancestry or anything else. This is largely b/c (1) I look African American, and (2) I am proud to be and look African American. I think a lot of it has to do with how we are raised, and I wish more young girls were taught about the strength and beauty that African American women possess.

  12. georgina says:

    When were they truly in the (good) spotlight? Is this a trick question?

  13. black girl says:

    the only time this bothers me is when i need something done or when i’m job hunting or when i’m at a fashion show or networking event or discussion panel…that’s when i wish the most i was something else when ppl (black and white) are ignoring the hell out of me, or edging away when i approach them. i’m just a boring black woman, and i don’t look special or attractive to ppl, and i try. if i were more exotic, i’d get more attention, and get more in my career/life. intelligence is fine, but in today’s world it doesn’t really count.

  14. Being labeled “exotic” has always been a problem to me. Exotic is usually a-typical of the normal beauty which is offensive in an of itself but most recently it has meant anyone not black, and the more not black you are the better. I have gotten into many an argument with black men who just don’t get it. Thank you for this article. And to answer your question, YES, black women are being overlooked, always have been and sadly nothing seems to be changing.

    Sidenote:: I’m Nigerian and Black as well (dad Nigerian, mom Black American). Yay!

  15. Kendra says:

    Sigh. Sadly, this article rings so much truth. The exotification of bi-racial women is ridiculous/offensive and the stamping out of black women from the media sphere is saddening. I just wish the beauty of all black women were represented not just the halle berry, tyra banks, beyonce, and alicia keys types. While all of those women just mentioned are indeed beautiful the majority of black women look nothing like that and are just as beautiful. I think this whole situation points to the dichotomy present in beauty standards affecting black women. The only factors of a black woman’s beauty that are valued are the ones that mark her seemingly “overt sexuality”: large bottom, thick lips, and curves; while features that are markers of her blackness: dark skin, wide nose, kinky hair are dismissed. There really needs to be a change where our concept of beauty is all inclusive. Yes the Alicia Keys’ of the world are gorgeous…but so are all the Alek Wek’s! (and all others in between).

    • MJ says:

      I agree that the entire spectrum should be represented. I certainly agree with the bulk of your post. However, to say that Tyra/Beyonce aren’t representative of a significant part of the Black community, in my eyes, is incorrect. Is it Beyonce’s full nose, textured hair (albeit weaved up) that makes her an anomaly? Is it Tyra’s brown skin, full nose (now with a rhinoplasty), textured hair, full lips that makes her a rarity? Same goes for Halle and her features (and skin tone, to me..though I realize some would disagree on that one). I thnk we have to be careful in our community when we say certain (OBVIOUSLY BLACK) phenotypes don’t represent MOST of us. I think that’s the effect of Eurocentrism at its finest. B/c white people deem these gorgeous women of African heritage as beautiful, we then respond by saying they don’t represent us, and view them as more Euro. When, in fact, they have a beauty that ONLY a person with a significant amount of African heritage can have!!!

  16. Kendra says:

    also: Holla to all my Nigerian/African-American sistas! (my Dad is african and mom black too!)

  17. Mother of Mixed Child says:

    I understand all of the comments left here but I also feel it to be unfair that if you are mixed (black with anything) you are automatically considered black. I am Hispanic and my fiance is African ( from Sierra Leone ). I want my child to be proud of her African heritage as well of her Puerto Rican one. I don’t want her to be labeled ‘black’ , ‘latin’ , or ‘exotic’. I want her to develop her own identity. I think the biggest issue of all is not that mixed women are taking over the media. The problem is society wanting to put a label on everything. A beautiful woman is beautiful whether she is black, white, asian, hispanic, or mixed. And all those labels are completely BS too. A black woman in Ethiopia looks completely different from one in Nigeria. The body structure and facial features are different. So its not just black. Equally, a hispanic woman from Spain looks very different that one from Mexico. Labels are stupid. Beauty is beauty. Being exotic has nothing to do with it.

    • lesleeha says:

      I understand where u are coming from. Your child should be proud of her racial mix. But this topic isn’t about how your child identifies. This topic is about how black women are undervalued within their own culture. Black women publicly uphold black men of all colors with all features. Its okay to be a black man with dark skin, and nappy hair, with a wide nose, and big lips. Black women will still parade this man around like he is gold, usher him to sex symbol status. But a black woman with the same features isn’t enjoying the same treatment, by men who look just like her. Its got so bad that I’ve heard on several occasions that dark skin is a masculine feature.–I understand where you are coming from, but I think it would be considerate if you would comment on the actual topic before you turned the discussion into all about you. Your daughter will thank you if you could dive into and understand this topic for her. Because the way things are going, even being biracial is quickly becoming ‘not good enough’ in the black community.

      • lesleeha says:

        also I love how people now say that there is no distinctive african look just so they can claim that the distinctive african look is not discriminated against. All of a sudden blacks from nigeria are so drastically different than blacks from Ethiopia. But who is so drastically different than women from nigeria and ethiopia? Yup, that woman from spain or germany. And we all can make a long list of the features that distinguishes that european woman from that african woman. And guess what the african woman has most of the features that are deemed unattractive in this european society. So sorry beauty is not beauty. And in this society we are not all seen as equally beautiful. Now I’m done with my rant, I’m just tired of non-black women who are just familiarizing themselves with black issues trying to convince black women that we are all the same and are judged the same. To be honest, i think non-black women come here to ease their minds, reassure themselves that their black man isn’t a self-hating idiot who hates his own kind.

        • georgina says:

          Well said.

        • Koko says:

          Was it really necessary to take someone elses positive comments and use them to highlight your own ignorance, vitriol and insecurity?
          You’re right none of us live in a perfect world where beauty is just beauty, but it takes many forms. Whatever you’re from there will always be ideals in terms of appearance, how we should live ou lives etc, but as individuals we have the choice to either accept and try to adhere to these or challenge those ideas, realising we are fine the way we are and can go about our business as we please!
          I didn’t realise anyone had to carry a ‘Black card’ in order to comment here or have a valid opinion.

      • sloane says:

        @lesleeha-i completely agree with you. what is the point of coming here and completely disregarding the issue at hand because:

        a.you don’t experience it
        b. you disagree with it (probably because you don’t experience it.)

        this dialogue is NOT about how biracial or multiracial women want to identify, and try to make it about that is derailing the conversation and comes off as self-centered. it’s about how women with a darker complexion and generally west african features are routinely undervalued in regards to being considered physically attractive and viable partners in the black community. yes, people can try to overcome this discrimination and disregard it in their personal everyday lives, but that doesn’t mean that it DOESN’T EXIST, and that it doesn’t have a pervasive affect, especially on impressionable young women. i definitely think this issue is linked to colorism.

        i don’t understand how you’re coming off as vitriolic and insecure when you want people to stay on topic. that’s most definitely koko (AND the pretentious bonehead who consistently tries to undermine the free expression of black women on this website) projecting. thank you for articulating the thoughts that many were thinking in response to mother of mixed child’s comments.

        • Koko says:

          @sloane-Saying that ‘i think non-black women come here to ease their minds, reassure themselves that their black man isn’t a self-hating idiot’ is uncalled for, is me projecting some perceived hostility? I think Lesleeha makes her feelings pretty clear. Her most negative response (see her second post) comes from the fact that Mother of a Mixed Child is not black but has the audacity meddle in ‘Black Issues’ and have a black partner, not that her comments are off topics. Many of the previous posts draw on their personal experience, are they all being self centred too? Is anyone who mentioned having atypical ‘West African features’ or not having a ‘darker complexion’ also derailing the post because they can’t relate? This IS a site where free expression is open to all, you might not agree with certain opinions or value their perspective but it’s those differences that hopefully create meaningful discourse.
          Taking someone’s post and using it to attack them when they haven’t said anything offensive or remotely negative speaks volumes about the respondent and their underlying issues.

  18. funkystarkitty50 says:

    All we have are ourselves to acknowledge our own beauty. It takes a strong woman to tune out all of the messages in society about what “real” beauty is. Black in any shade is beautiful and there are plenty of men who see and acknowledge that. I stopped caring what BM thought a long time ago…..

  19. Okay, I am a black woman. when people ask me what my race is I reply, “Black.” Oddly enough my white friends stop there. But, my black friends keep going… “Come On… you’re mixed.” I will always reply with “No. Both of my parents are black so, I’m Black.” You would think that they would stop there… They do not… Come on you have to be Indian or Hispanic… or a descendant of a slave and a slave master. smh…

    We are doing this to ourselves… White people can “accept” our blackness, so why can’t we?

    I turn on BET, and of any channel I would expect to see a black women … instead I get the Latin Rocsi hosting 106 & Park… We are doing this to ourselves.

    • MW says:

      I completely agree: we (as a community) are indeed doing this to ourselves.
      I’ve read the posts here and even while many of the authors comment on their distaste for the young men’s comments, they (albeit probably unconsciously) touted that they weren’t “regular” Black girls either.

      As a Black women from a different part of the world, I think that the biggest issue facing us is ourselves. WE put others in front of us, WE negate our beauties and everything about ourselves. If we held ourselves like (as my little sister would say) “the baddest bitch” then we’d get that respect.

      I had a really strong Caribbean accent growing up and was made to be so ashamed of it that I practiced speaking “American”. There was a time I quit dance as my hips began to jut out and my butt protruded because (and this is a comment from a former choreographer) I was built too much like Hot n Tot to be a professional dancer. There were times that I didn’t speak my mind because I didn’t want to be the angry Black girl in a sea of pale blue eyes.

      If we appreciated ourselves more, then our counterparts could only be forced to do the same.

      In the end, who cares of Kim Kardashian is being praised for a bottom Black women are known for? Truth be told, people ignorant enough to see the beauty on one half of the coin and not the other aren’t worth your attention, your time or your aggravation.

      • Kiya says:

        I understand what you are saying , but not all of us are ‘regular’ black girls and as some commenters have said people should be able to class themselves as mixed or black, as they feel fit.

  20. Jones says:

    I can relate to those that are constantly asked what they are mixed with…happened to me just the other day. I don’t think it’s insulting or a compliment, people are curious when they see long curly hair, on a darker complexioned person, with almond shaped eyes, high cheek bones, with a reddish hue to the skin…whew…

    I have like standing out in a crowd, so I am not mad when people ask me what I’m mixed with I simply answer.

  21. jubilee says:

    I see many dark women TODAY that are considered ‘exotic’; the only place they are NOT is among the RAP culture—black women should STAY AWAY from rappers and their colorstruck minds—(off the subject) has ANYONE seen pretty black girls and women on HORSES? ever? In real life, some are like in Texas ; some of us even like country music. but you NEVER EVER know it from HOLLYWOOD (were ALL urban ghetto rats) or silky smooth negros with too much jewelry (pierced ears) etc. I wonder if someone would make a modern movie, or a movie set in the 70s with black WOMEN ranch types…

  22. jubilee says:

    Another thing, i might add, black people have a large color range–from Alek Wek, to J. Edgar Hoover—his mother was black (light-skinnned)–when we identify ourselves as black, we identify ourselves with the broadest range of peoples.–Whites go by haircolor, with the redheads being on the ‘bottom’ and the blonds being on ‘top’–since whites change their haircolor, it isnt as prevalent—also, there are blacks who turn blond in the sun as well

  23. Diane says:

    Case in point: “Roll with bad b*tches and they all look Brazilian.” This is from Diamond’s (a rapper, whoever she is) verse on Ludacris’ My Chick Bad remix. How much do you want to bet that Diamond doesn’t know that there are tons, tons I say, of Black people in Brazil. But she wouldn’t roll with them, because they wouldn’t be…bad.

  24. Sasha says:

    I can definitely relate to the people who are regularly asked what they are mixed with. Sometimes it gets on my nerves because when I tell them I am just black, it seems like they are automatically uninterested, or do not want to believe it because I do not look “stereotypically black.” While I not be “100 percent” black, what African American is? Slavery has all of us mixed up with so many things; which is why I laugh at people who are mixed and do not like being called black. While I don’t believe biracial people should deny their white (or whatever they may be mixed with) heritage, I look at it this way; “exotic” or not, mixed or not, if this was 1803 in the south, we’d all be slaves. I believe people need to recognize the beauty of black people in their various shades, sizes, features, etc.

  25. Sanne' says:

    As a child I was made to feel less than by some people because I had what they called a “pug” nose, but because I had long auburn hair and built like a “coca-cola” bottle I was ok. I grew having a complex about my nose, shape, hips and behind. But as I grew older I learned to love who I am and realized I was created to be a beautifully unique woman and if one can’t see my worth, they were and are not worthy of me or my love. Rappers don’t define me, people don’t define me, society doesn’t define me. Love of self comes from within and I wear it well as a beautiful caramel sister. Point of the ignorance of people, I worked at a company where they had a bet going as to what my “heritage” was. The pot was getting large as some said because of my high cheek bones and redish/orange skin tone I had to be part French, another stated my high cheek bones an black hair with slanted eyes indicated Spanish or Native American. It was amazing to me that they would get a pot going on what I was mixed with which amazed me that they were so caught up with what I was and not who I am as a person. Needless to say, no one won, because I would not divulge my ethnicity but simply said, I’m a beautiful black woman, enough said!

  26. Ebony Maple Leaf says:

    You know, I was watching E!’s 30 sexiest women (don’t ask me why lol….). I remember that the sparse black women that did make the list (Naomi Campbell, Halle Berry, Rihanna, Tyra), E! always pointed out they were “mixed” somehow (Halle Berry, I can see….but I remember they mentioned that Naomi was half Chinese, which is sooooooo false but this is E!….or with Tyra and Rihanna they made a point about their eye color). They did not do this with

    On the subject too, I remember back in 90s, a lot of the black haute couture models always had to claim some far out European-linked ancestry (I’m talking like 40 generations back…..like my great-great-great-great grandmother was Scottish, etc). This was done with many of the european and caribbean models. The African and American models were “black” (Tyra, Roshumba, Alek Wek, etc.) I forgot which model (probably Veronica Webb) stated that claiming these far out racial identities made the black models more marketable…….that’s how it is (I wish I can say “was”).

    SMH

  27. Alexandra says:

    The question is: were Black women really in any spotlight?
    When have there not been discussions about which “Black” female celeb/model that’s really mixed race; like Ebony Maple Leaf said.

    This answer to this question is as bright as day.